By Seyi Igunsabi.

These days a lot of marital lies seem to be rupturing most marriages, perhaps that is the reason why most homes and marriages are unstable. And of course, these lies are mostly myths or false beliefs about marriage that have been entrenched as traditions over the centuries. See some of them below in this post and guard against them passionately before they take their toll on your marital relationships.

1. A good marriage is not solely dependent on good money or great wealth.

How can this be true when there are many rich people’s homes that are as unsettled as a whirlwind? Similarly, many poor couples have also gone their separate ways due to lack of resources and poverty. So, you know it’s not the presence or shortage of money that makes a home sweet. Building a robust marital relationship is more than silver and gold; rather, it requires gaining a relevant understanding and having the right marital values. However, good financial management can enhance a good marriage. Finance aids romance.

2. Your parents should be the model for your marriage regardless of their obvious marital misdemeanours.

If your parents’ marriage and approach to this sacred conjugal union disagree with the originator’s manual and principles of marriage, then it cannot be your model. Watch out! Children who follow their parents’ misguided and deficient marital lifestyle have led to many repeated marital failures and frustrations. There is no sane person who would follow a bad example and end up in a good way themselves.

3. You marry for the sake of your challenged elderly parents and siblings.

I know of a few homes that have broken down because of this. It shouldn’t have happened, except for this lie that some men, especially, have built their families on. Your marriage is primarily about you and your spouse. Hence, the Bible says, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother (that is family) and be joined to his wife (to form his own family). If an elderly parent or sibling who requires care is to be integrated into your family for some reason, it must come from the mutual accord of the concerned couple. It must also be secondary to the overall welfare of their home. That is marriage.

4. That your wife must not be older than you in age, or else she won’t respect you and will dictate to you.

Like I have always said, age is just a number. Maturity is in the heart. The fact that your wife is older or younger than you does not guarantee her respect for you as a man. Many couples all over the globe have proven this beyond any reasonable doubt. Respect in marriage is neither commanded nor earned. It is meant to be given unconditionally in marriage. Therefore, age is not a factor that makes an older wife disrespect her husband; ignorance or pride may suffice.

SEE THIS ALSO, “Marriage is perhaps 1% sex; the rest is…” – Dr Myles Munroe.

5. That your parents and siblings are stakeholders in your marriage and family affairs.

This is not correct and it is not God’s plan for marriage (Gen. 2:18-25). A man or woman is intrinsically married to his wife or husband but invariably responsible for their extended families; yet this does not make them stakeholders in any way. 
This must be well spelt out in the mindset of a couple, especially those who want to maximize their marital destinies. A lot of marriages have been led to ruin and divorce because of this lie.

6. Marrying A Woman Who Is More Educated Or Richer Than You Spells Doom For You In The Coming Days Of Being Together As A Couple.
This reveals a multifaceted ignorance on the part of those who propagate and believe a lie such as this.
I also believe men who have this notion do so out of pride and manhood status thinking. For God’s sake, marriage is two persons becoming one. So it is expected that this oneness will cut across all your possessions, decisions and actions.
This understanding of the oneness that marriage brings to a couple is the real meaning and joy of marriage. This means even though your woman is richer and more learned than you the man, it is still to your advantage and she is not supposed to rub it on you. Of course, that’s also for a woman who understands marriage as God intended for mankind. You see it’s always in your best interest to marry a tutored person like you in the understanding of marriage as God intended.

7. Sex Before Marriage Is A Test Of Commitment To Each Other’s Love, Especially For The Engaged.
This is a pure lie because if there is any truth in it then sex workers would be almost non-existent on our streets and hotels. These are ladies that can give sex without any iota of love or emotional commitment. Theirs is money for hand, back for ground- sex for business.
The fact that people can have sex without marriage( though very wrong) by patronizing sex workers and whores makes this particular lie weak and ineffective in marital relationships. About three years ago I held a seminar on the twenty-three characteristics of true love; sex was not mentioned among them. Sex is proof of marriage not a sign of true love.

8. Engaged couples (about to weds) must as a matter of necessity proof their fertility before marriage by engaging in sex before marriage.
This is nothing but a demonic and immoral counsel that has become a law in some family lines. And what a pity to contemplate such.
God frowns at it. It is FORNICATION in the manual book for marriage( the Bible). God hates such. And like I wrote in an article- if we all have to test our fertility before marriage, then we will soon have ‘The Association of Infertile Singles’, isn’t that so? Because it means five to ten guys or ladies can drop their prospect on this ground. Then what will the world look like? Let’s do the will of God. He is the only wise God.

Thank you.

READ ALSO, 15 Marital Lies That Are Rupturing Most Homes And Marriages. (2)

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