9. That The Husband Being The Head Is A Senior To His Wife In Marriage.

No not at all, a man being the head of a woman does not mean he is the senior or the ‘boss’ in marriage.

Please understand this: there is no seniority or superiority in marriage. These were the lies our forefathers sold to us and showed us in their marriages but this is not the model marriage God intended for us.

If two shall become one, then who is senior in that arrangement? Do we have a junior ‘one’ and senior ‘one’? Of course not, one is one. So in marriage, you are one and equal intrinsically. Just like the Trinity is one and there is no ‘Senior God’ among the Three. They are One and equal in the Godhead, so is a man and his wife- they are one flesh and equal as it were.

The man as the head is accountable, a guiding leader, and a decision-maker. He is not supposed to be playing the boss, King Kong in the house. In marriage, respect is mutual and reciprocal.

10. That You Have To Ascertain You Are Sexually Compatible( Meaning He Or She Must Be Experienced In ‘Bed Things’) Before Wedding.

Please let’s first answer a question here: Is sex for marriage or is marriage for sex? There is nothing like sexual compatibility anywhere. That idea is a fraud propagated by satan to turn young people against their creator and the originator of marriage.

The way God made sex, even two married virgins (man and woman) can become experts in sex in less than six months into the marriage. Better still, there are decent Christian books on sex and physical intimacy.

You don’t have to indulge in a series of sex before the wedding to ascertain your sexual prowess. Any couple can be good in bed once they have a good bed or mattress that can take a good position on the floor of their matrimonial home. But the bed is not the only place where sex should take place. That is for another day. Smiles.

11. That The Essence And Beauty Of Marriage Are In Child Bearing.

Aah! Aah! What a deviation from the purpose of marriage. True, procreation is supposed to take place through marriage by God’s design. But that is not the primary essence of a man and a woman coming together as one. Let’s check with the originator of the marriage manual (The Bible).

The first reason for marriage was companionship. Can I also say ‘Helpship’? God made Eve a companion and a helper to Adam to help him fulfil his destiny. This is documented in Gen. 2.

So let’s stop all this stigmatization of our couples who are still waiting on God for children. Marriage is more than having children that would run around the home.

Now, this is the truth: most people who try to disdain waiting couples also have other things they are also pursuing and are yet to lay hold on to, do you know? And nobody is crucifying them on that note.

I believe some couples had no biological children in their lifetime yet lived great lives and have great legacies that are still on, years after they have departed from this world.

12. You Can Walk Out On A Marriage When Your Family Finance Is In A Deplorable State A While, Especially The Women.

This is a blatant lie because many wives who bought into this lie and took action for it, have regretted it sorely.
Some wished they never did.

Sudden or gradual failed family finance, unplanned bankruptcy of a man is not an acceptable reason for a woman to walk out of the marriage. But this is quite common in this generation.
Marriage is a call to jointly build something of eternal relevance and significance together.
Unfortunately, even some mothers are the ones who encourage their daughters to take this step.

The joy of getting married is staying married. So when tough times come and there is no more money as it used to be, the cars have been sold to pay a debt, and children’s school fees can not be paid- a promising couple would hold hands and wade through it together.
Then with God’s mercy, things will turn around again and you also partake of it as one.

13. That Your Parents In-Law Can Give You Policies On How To Run Your Home And You Have To Adhere To Win Their Hearts.

Where is that done? Is it in marriage as God ordained or in marriage as in-law established? I have seen this in many homes since I came into counseling ministry and I also note that it is turning many husbands and wives into wild creatures.
Although many of them hate to comply; they are afraid to take a stand for what is right.

It is wrong to follow the dictates of your in-law when it comes to running your home/marriage.
They can offer you advice no doubt but not make family policies for you.

14. That A Mother-In-Law Can Molest A Daughter-In-Law Because Of Delayed Child Birth.

If it’s a Christian solemnization, any mother-in-law that engages in molestation such as this can be termed a witch. It is a manipulative action and does not show a sincere concern for the couple. If you are concerned for them, pray to God that gives children to bless them with the number of babies they want (Psalm. 127:3).

15. A Man can Beat a Woman Because He Has Authority Over Her.

Such actions have their roots in some cultures and family line misconduct. While some people may believe there is nothing wrong with that since they were brought up to accept it as the norm, this does not reflect the position of the Bible in relating to one’s wife.
It is weak men that beat their wives.
Besides this also, it does not show a sign of mutual respect which is supposed to foster peace and harmony in the home.
The beating of wives and domestic violence against female folks is rampant in our days both in Africa and the western world. The truth is no man who hits his wife and insults her will do well at last in life. This is an unequivocal truth about all conjugal unions.
I know some wives may sometimes put up very annoying attitudes towards their husbands, home affairs, and in-law which make their hubbies bully them.
Notwithstanding, no woman deserves correction by beating or bulling.

Thank you.

Read also, 15 Marital Lies That Are Rupturing Most Homes And Marriages. (1)