Winning in marriage - Marriage as God Intended

Key No 2: FOLLOW THE ORIGINATOR’S MANUAL AND SEEK REVELATIONAL KNOWLEDGE ON THE JOURNEY OF MARRIAGE

One of the fundamental reasons why people fail and struggle to maintain their marriage is deviation from the Originator’s guidelines (manual). Would I be right to say it’s almost impossible for anyone to understand or operate a machine or equipment better than the manufacturer? Just as there are principles that govern most experiences in the world, there are also unmistakable principles that make marriage a delightful and profitable venture. Marriage is not a venture that evolved by itself; rather, it was God’s brainchild. Therefore, He knows the best way to navigate the marital journey without becoming casualties or incurring losses and calamities.

Search the scriptures and learn what they instruct us on the issues of marriage and love relationships. Read books on marriage and relationships, attend marriage seminars, and seek counsel when you are at a crossroads.

Proverbs 24:6 “For by wise counsel you will wage your own war, In a multitude of counsellors, there is safety.”

Stop gambling with your marital destiny by trying to run it on assumptions, traditional beliefs, and the like. Seek the truth about marriage as God intended for mankind, and you will be galloping in marital bliss and victory.

KEY NO 3: HAVE A MODEL COUPLE OR COUPLES YOU DREAM TO REPLICATE

The surest way to succeed in any venture is to ask or observe those who have succeeded in the same venture or line of interest. It’s like the popular maxim: ‘Standing on the shoulders of giants,’ which gives an added advantage that is second to none.
This means if some couples have achieved undeniable success in marriage in spite of their diverse backgrounds, temperaments, differences, and limitations, then succeeding in it for you is not a wild imagination or some form of impossibility.Examples, or what we call model couples, awaken a possibility mindset in you and arouse your thirst for a similar result or experience when discussing success in marriage.

15 MARITAL LIES THAT ARE RUPTURING MOST MARRIAGES (2)

As a matter of fact, you have the privilege of learning from their good and bad lessons, which invariably reduces the marital stress they suffered from the bad ones in your own marriage. Model couples act as experienced marriage guides and mentors until you become mature enough for sustainable success in marriage. Especially at this point, most times, people prepare for marriage while in marriage, which leads to a lot of issues.

KEY NO 4: BE WARY OF THIRD-PARTY NEGATIVE INFLUENCES

One of the most common and significant causes of marital failure and frustration is third-party unwholesome influences. Marriage is intrinsically a union of two individuals who have become one.
Therefore, they must prioritize shared interests over personal ones and staunchly oppose the vested interests of relatives and friends.
Be wary of third parties in the operation and management of your marriage and home. Perhaps third parties have broken up more homes than we can ever think or imagine?

I have personally witnessed marriages that broke up because of negative third-party influences. 𝘼𝙣𝙮 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙡 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙖 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙧𝙙 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙜𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙧 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙖 𝙨𝙤𝙛𝙩 𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜. Be kind enough to yourself and your partner to reject such humbly but sternly.

KEY NO 5: LEARN TO TALK AS A COUPLE

Discuss issues, both positive and negative ones. 𝘾𝙤𝙪𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙘𝙠 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙟𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙖𝙜𝙚. For example, imagine you don’t have a spare tire and you are travelling on a journey of 12 hours. If it happens that you experience a flat tire in the middle of nowhere, can you imagine the frustration? Many couples have found themselves in the middle of nowhere because they don’t talk and communicate effectively as couples.

𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙧, 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙡𝙮, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙪𝙛𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣, 𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙖 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙚. And believe me, it will take its toll on the couple and other vital areas of their lives. Communication in marriage is one of the weightier matters of spousal relationships that make winning seamless for most couples.
This can not be overemphasized. You don’t have to love talking to communicate effectively in a marriage. Once you marry, you must talk to your spouse. They are not mind readers.

KEY NO 6: LOVE AND RESPECT EACH OTHER RELENTLESSLY

Men need love and respect as much as women do. Women do not just need to be loved; they deserve to be respected, too.
Similarly, men don’t just give their best to a marital relationship because they are respected by their wives; they also need to be loved. Love and respect each other’s individuality. Don’t expect your spouse to be like you before they can please you. Learn to accept them for who they are in terms of their temperaments and preferences.

𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙨𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨.
No reasonable and loving man will physically assault a wife he loves and respects. If you love and respect each other’s needs, you will not toy with your sexual needs.
𝙊𝙣𝙚 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙖𝙮 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙚𝙭 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩’𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙚. 𝙏𝙧𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪.

If you love and respect each other, you will love and respect your in-laws equally. If you love and respect each other, you will do things that will draw you and your spouse nearer to the Lover of your soul, Jesus, while avoiding anything that keeps you farther from Him.

TWO ARE BETTER THAN ONE IN A MARRIAGE

KEY NO 7: BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT BEING RESOURCEFUL AND ECONOMICALLY PRODUCTIVE INDIVIDUALS

Money does not answer everything according to the scriptures; however, money is the answer to many marital conflicts. Like my wife used to say, most of the marital conflicts couples experience are merely financial problems. You will realize that when there is reasonable and adequate funding in a marriage, most of the negative energy witnessed will be almost nonexistent. So, winning in marriage is a function of adequate funding. Hence, couples should be intentional and proactive about generating income by all decent means.

Laziness will not only cause a household to decay, but it can also lead to the decay and failure of a marriage when there is no viable and sustainable source of income for the couples. Finally, if you take just these basic keys and use them intentionally, determinedly, and prayerfully, winning in marriage will be the fruit you enjoy for as long as you desire with your spouse.