By Seyi Igunsabi

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Without prejudice to men’s inherent egotistic nature, it is not expected that any man who has a good understanding of marriage AS GOD INTENDED- what it symbolizes and the ideology it promotes, would think through with this or insinuate this.
I dare say, any man who holds this kind of opinion- that marrying a woman who earns more money than he does at a time- makes him less a man, needs to be tutored in the basic principles of marriage. And I mean marriage as God intended for us not as the world and tradition dictate now.

I remember, I first heard about this grossly misleading marital assertion on a radio program while driving some years ago. And immediately I heard it I knew the person in question is certainly devoid of the intrinsic knowledge of marriage according to God’s plan and as nature has even taught us over the centuries.

The truth is there is no reason sound enough that can justify this detrimental position that may be taken by a supposed knowledgeable man who plans to get married some day.
Any marriage where a man subscribes to this manner of orientation about the financial power of his wife is not likely be at its best. In fact, that union is bound to be challenged significantly on this premise. And in a situation whereby a lady has already fallen in love with a man with this sort of mindset (and married to him), it will either lead to her forfeiting viable financial opportunities that are being sustained by her career pursuit or business acumen or she will always be a target of her husband’s resentments.

Basically, some men, even Christian men, are afraid to marry a lady who has more money than them because they believe such a lady will end up acting bossy in the home since she possesses more financial power. 
Although this may be true with some married women but it’s not so with a woman who understands the tenets of a christian marriage and her role in the union.
Christian marriage forbids that couples lay claim on their possessions, individually. Yet there are many Christian couples who don’t practice Christian marriage whose union falls prey to this kind of erroneous position.

SEE THIS, 20 Things Couples Do That Lead to Spousal Abuse.

This is the essence of courtship, to know whom you want to marry- their beliefs and stance on certain things that validate a Christian marriage and marriage as God intended for His children. But unfortunately, so many singles overlook this at their own peril.  
Believe you me, any woman who is not broken by the knowledge of the fear of God will find it difficult to submit wholly to her husband if she earns more money than him.

Frankly, the reason why some singles ladies and guys take such position with respect to money matters in marital union, is because they are not ready to pay the price for operating marriage according to God’s purpose, guidelines and idea.
In a Christian marriage a couple ought to have everything in common including finance. For instance, my wife and  I never had cause to discuss having one purse or one bank account before we got married over 14yrs ago. Yet we have maintained ‘one purse’ as it were from the beginning till now.

Also, presently we don’t have a joint bank account (although it’s a very welcomed idea) but we are both privy to each other’s account details and income per time. And it’s so natural to us. Why? We both wanted to have a true Christian marriage and we understood the parameters.
Like I aforementioned we did not even discuss it during courtship but our approach to money matters in courtship gave us understanding that we both knew what was expected of us when it comes to marriage and finance.
In some instances my wife can prevail on how we use a particular income of mine, vice versa, because we both own the resources together regardless who brought it to the family table. We are one, one means common possession. And believe me, this has made things work for us in many ways.

Often than not, most men who assume this kind of unhelpful position when approaching marriage, do, for three major reasons.

1. Ignorance of marriage as God made it to be. This also shows he is yet to admit the basic tenets of marriage and how it works out its divine purpose for each couple, especially as it relates to two becoming one flesh.  The fact is- no well meaning and knowledgeable couple would give room for the personalization of wealth and belongings in a Christian marriage.

2. In a situation whereby a man holding on to this kind of notion knows the demands of marriage, then it can deduced that pride has overridden his knowledge of the truth. Pride is one attitude that can frustrate a spousal effort to make a marriage work as expected.

3. Inherent inferiority complex is another thing that would cause a man planning to get married to think this way. There are individuals who have never been treated to honour and dignity all the days of their lives becuase of the home and environment they grew up. Any young man raised under such a kind of atmosphere may want to take succor in being ahead of his wife in all things with no exception to financial status. Yet this mindset is not befitting at all for nurturing a good marriage.

The fact is- there is no one who claims to know the true meaning of marriage, especially a Christian marriage, who will not admit that there ought not to be discrimination in the purse of a christain couple. Although there should always be a mutual understanding on the way the family’s resources are disbursed.

It is very dangerous for a lady to enter into a marriage covenant with a man who reasons this way. The reason being that among other things, her husband will inevitably frustrate her progress and her desire to peak in her career or business life, which will invariably impact on the family life negatively.
So single ladies must be cautious when considering whom to settle down with, most especially if she is someone who has bright prospect in career and business world.

READ THIS, 15 Marital Lies That Are Rupturing Most Homes And Marriages. (1)

“Marriage is perhaps 1% sex; the rest is…” – Dr Myles Munroe.

©️MAGI