Read more about the article When Love Doesn’t Make Sense

When Love Doesn’t Make Sense

The indices of senseless love are always obvious to everyone who cares to understand the meaning of true love and seeks one.

Indices of senseless love

These days many people, most especially the youngsters, seem to be taking the concept of real love for granted and out of context. Little wonder why many marriages and relationships have also become grounded in the relationship world. Love is more than emotions; however, it is disturbing that majority of love birds all over the streets are not admitting to this. And this is preventing them from having valuable and fulfilling relationships-cum-marriages.

Love is more of an attitude than some romantic feelings and emotional fantasies. It is a decision based on knowledge and a conviction born out of a commitment to love in truth and with knowledge.

We are in a time when both the married and the unmarried see marriage as a nightmare. To some, the talk of marriage or the idea of getting married is like trespassing in a danger zone. What a misnomer! Whereas marriage is a fantastic idea that God came up with for the betterment and fulfillment of mankind. By divine design, marriage is supposed to be a leverage for all people who are given to marriage to enable them to maximize their destiny. I must point out here that: love is not marriage; love is only an aspect of the marriage covenant practice.

The problem with several young people going into relationships nowadays is that they seem to have overblown the concept of love as it relates to marriage. Hence, we see them misrepresenting love in various ways and even try to build a lifelong union on such misleading notions about love. Furthermore, they are caught in what I call emotional trap, which they interpret as love. The resultant effect is that these intending couples end up as victims of wrong and weird decisions about their love life and causalities of a deceitful love affair.

All in the name of love, some folks find themselves in relationships that are directionless, senseless and destructive to their destiny. Also, this love thing has made a lot of them go into relationships that would culminate in marriage that they should not have any business with in the first place.

We are in days when many singles and married are trapped in relationships and marriages that are demeaning to their lives. Relationships that are shameful and discrediting to them and their life dreams. And often than not, it is because they refused to learn what they ought to know or they are not applying the relevant knowledge at their disposal, especially as it relates to the ideology of true love.

Prov. 19:2

“Also it is not good for a soul to be without knowledge , And he sins who hastens with his feet.”

The truth is, most of the headaches, broken hearts and hurting experiences that many people suffer in their love relationships are avoidable. But many walked into it because of their wanton passion and unguided step, besides ignorance of mind they have towards the truths about marriage matters.

I wonder why someone will still be seeking advice over a love that does not make sense from all indications. Such Individuals often than not are nothing but lovesick. You see, when people are lovesick or infatuated, they don’t think straight. I can say with all authority that people who equate being lovesick with true love are often the victims of love that is senseless and hurtful. There are instances when the love affair going on between two persons does not make sense at all, due to the fact that their actions and reactions, attitudes and characters, are counterproductive to what true love represents. Yet some individuals still go ahead to peak in that relationship (that is marry), only for them to regret it afterwards.

When love doesn’t make sense, one of the sensible things to do is not to linger around it, if you do, it will overwhelm you and destroy your chance for a sensible and true love experience. Besides, your chance for glorious marital journey and fulfilling experience may be lost forever to carnal love. So when love doesn’t make sense, it is wisdom to escape for your life and marriage.

Below Are Some instances You Should Be Aware Of That Reveal Clearly Love Relationships That Do Not Make Sense In Terms of Building Robust and Fulfilling Relationships That Would Last.

HAVE YOU READ, 10 RELIABLE SIGNS THAT SHOW HE LOVES YOU!

1. Any love that can not be trusted can not make sense in the end.

Falling in love in with someone you do not trust is leading yourself into a serious emotional trap. Why share your life, your heart , your passion and even your body with someone you cannot vouch for or that doesn’t trust you completely? Do you want to to kill yourself before your time. This reminds me of the sad story of the Lekki guy in Lagos, Nigeria, who killed his fiancée and then poisoned himself in the same instance. At the base of their problem was trust. Any love relationship that is questionable on the ground of trust can destroy you, cut short your destiny and wreck your life dreams. Take note! It doesn’t make any sense to be neck deep with such a person maritally and emotionally.

1 Corinth. 13:7- says “love believes all things”. Love trusts. And this trust must cut across. Don’t be afraid to keep yourself if you are trustworthy or you are someone that cherish trust, soon or later you will meet a person like you. If you can not close your two eyes as touching his or commitment to you, look well before you peak in that love affair.

2. Rebound love hardly makes sense.

This is a situation whereby someone who has just jilted a friend or was jilted, decides to jump on another love Chariot to make him or her feel loved again just to spite the ‘ex’. And this usually happens almost immediately after they broke away from their ex. Watch it, such love don’t end well. I know a few persons who fell into this kind of love and they regretted it sorely. Majority do suffer in this kind of love world. There was a case I handled recently. A sister, a Christian worker, had been going out with a brother for about two, three years, then something went wrong and they both parted ways. And just almost immediately, I don’t think it was up to six months, she started dating another brother in the same church just to spite her ex. But in less than a year that relationship went sour too and this time around the sister left with a serious scar which she didn’t sustain in the first relationship.

Be wary of those who seek rebound all in the name love. Such love don’t end well and you can hardly make any sense out of it in the long run.

3. If you have to betray a friend or your spouse in the name of a newly found love, that is a stupid and wicked love, it will boomerang in the end.

I advise you flee such love. Never fall in love with your close friend’s date if they did not part in peace and without scar in either of them. That kind of love doesn’t make sense in the end. It’s a love tainted with betrayal. This was the kind of love that Portiphar’s wife tried to establish with Joseph, her house-boy. But he was wise to turn it down without hesitation. Betrayal love will be betrayed in the end, love wisely.

4. Love that can not tell the truth or hear the truth does not make sense for a union like marriage.

If you are in love with someone you can not tell the truth about their unruly behaviours and about what God expects from them, then that love will backfire soon or later. Moreover, any prospect or partner you can not talk to about the unfriendly and unloving actions he or she puts up will land you in regrettable affair. Think deep before you marry him or her if you are single. Love rejoices in and embraces truth. 1 Corinth. 13:6.

READ ALSO, 8 Proven Ways To Bring Out The Best In Your Marriage And Relationship

5. Forceful Love does not make sense.

Forcing oneself on a prospect is an obvious of a kind of love that will not lead anywhere reasonable given obvious reasons. This was the forceful affection Amnon had towards Tamar, his half-sister. It was devastating to him in the end.

When there is no good and decent reason to enter into a love affair with a person but you continue with such a person, that is forceful love. I have seen this played out among a few intending couples that I have had the privilege to counsel. Would you believe some ladies force love on some guys, even brothers in the church, by seducing them to make love to them and become pregnant in the process? Pathetically, some ‘innocent’ but carefree brothers (guys) have been caught in this net. Beware!

6. Any love that dwells critically on what you have or don’t have is an immaterial/irrelevant love. Avoid it.

Material status is often immaterial when we talk about a true and sensible love affair. Be careful! True Love is first of the heart before anything else. True love is immaterial but flourishes with gifts and comfort over time. However, the presence or absence of physical possessions can not be used to measure a sound and promising love relationship. We ought to place priority on marrying people for who they are and not for what they have.

7. When the person you want to marry or you are in love with drags his or her feet before he or she meets the people that matter in your life, then you know that you are in a love affair that may not make sense in the end.

Those who have been part of your life must not be treated like Scaffolds because of your newly found love; it’s always regrettable to do such. Be warned! Any lover that is wary to meet the people that have been part of your life is a suspect and may have skeleton in the cupboard. Prospects who have zero regards for your biological and spiritual parents and other important persons in your life will end up witch-hunting you in that marriage. Then you will not have who to cry to or call on when your spouse is in the wrong. And soon you will realize you have been caught in a wrong and senseless love.

© MAGI

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Read more about the article Can My Pastor, Prophet Or Parents Choose A Spouse For Me? (They Told Me To Marry You -2)

Can My Pastor, Prophet Or Parents Choose A Spouse For Me? (They Told Me To Marry You -2)

No one should choose a spouse for you

The answer to this cardinal question of life trending among many young unmarried Christians seeking marriage these days is- capital underlined NO.

It is not even debatable neither should it be a point of controversy before those who understand the way of God. Please just endeavour to read to the end and you’ll agree with on this eye-opening submission on the subject matter.

Too many married people are wallowing in the sea of regrets these days owing to this manipulative approach to getting married.

If you are unmarried and you want to secure a fulfilling marital destiny through sound knowledge, then don’t try to consider marrying an individual on the recommendation of your parents, friends, prophet and your pastor. This notion, that someone can be recommended as a future life partner is a major reason why some couples all over the world are in secret pains today in their unions consummated with a recommended partner. It’s also one of the main causes of divorce and separation among many couples.

The truth is: anyone who depends on God to help him or her connect with a destiny partner tends to always have better confidence to cope with things should anything go wrong along the line in that union. But if it’s a case of some persons persuaded them to marry their partner, it’s a lot much easier to blame the third party for all the unexpected and to decide to walk out of the relationship.

However, i would love to acknowledge that there may be few exceptions to these scenarios painted above. It’s just that many are trying to build their marriage dreams on these exceptions and it’s costly, hence the necessity of this post.

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The best thing your pastor and parents can do for you in this regard is to guide you like I am doing now but the final choice is still your singular responsibility and majorly tied to divine leadership. Please don’t misunderstand me- it is not a crime to be close to your pastor or parents, but when it comes to making a choice of a life partner you must draw the line.

I understand that some persons may be so close to their pastors or parents that they may want to suggest to them whom to marry, claiming that they are doing so in their best interest but we must all wake up to the reality of choosing our own wife and our own husband. It is only God that can help you out in this matter besides the marriage counselling knowledge you have acquired.

Choosing or knowing whom to marry is a private matter, no one can (should) do it for you. Just like nobody can eat for you or sleep for you, no one has the capacity to choose or recommend a partner to you. It is about your life and destiny, not theirs. And like I normally say humorously: If you go ahead to marry a recommended person, you may as well prepare for avoidable recommended troubles in marriage.

Someone would say but I know some persons who got married on recommendation and they are doing fine. That is perhaps an exception, yet we can not build rightness of deed on a few exceptions. But I can confidently tell that there are vast others who are having regrettable marriages because their partners were recommended to them by somebody with possible vested interest.

As a matter of fact, even those few exceptions will usually have something still missing in their union when we look at it from the view of destiny fulfilment. And this may remain oblivious to the two persons concerned even through out a lifetime. While some may realise it when it’s probably too late for them to make any changes.
Interestingly, we don’t score our destinies ourselves but we’ll often have an idea of how well we did or didn’t do if we are sincere in our conscience.

OTHER REASONS WHY  MARRYING A RECOMMENDED PERSON COULD BE VERY DANGEROUS.

2. No One Knows Tomorrow Like God.

It is incontestable that no man or angel has a perfect knowledge of the future like God, the All-Knowing One. The bible says: He declares the end from the beginning and at the same time, He is the Alpha and Omega. So a couple is always safe in His hands and in His plan if He is the connecting link, no matter what comes their way in marriage.

READ ALSO, Dealing With Relationship Pitfalls- 1

The best of men are men at their best. So a man’s knowledge is too limited to connect you to an accurate destiny partner. Instead, I urge you to take time to seek your destiny maker and He will direct your path if you trust in Him with all your heart in this regard. By God’s providence, I am a blessed and living proof of God being the Perfect Matchmaker.

For emphasis, I maintain that- no one can truly determine who agrees with your destiny and bring them your way than THE DESTINY MAKER, God. In fact, this should happen almost naturally and by what is called divine providence. And this, without any human arrangement. However, there may be human involvement. These two are entirely different.
For instance, as a serving Youth Pastor in one of our headquarters churches between 2015 and 2017, I appointed eight executive members to work with me. Along the line two of them got engaged and wedded in 2018. On the wedding day, another exco member of the same set said to me that I was the one God used to bring this new couple together; on hearing that- I just smiled. You see, I was involved in their meeting each other but I never brought them together to get married but to work with me as a team under my leadership. I never talked about marriage to them once neither did I suggest it anyway while working together. But as they served with me on the same board, God himself connected them. Today, they are happily married.

3. It Gives Room For Tormenting Marital Experience.

Marrying a person God did not connect you with by Himself can make that marriage tormenting to you because only God can guarantee your peace by all means.

2 Thessalonians. 3:16

“Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace always by means.” (KJV)

There is no torment in doing God’s will or pleasure in anything including marriage. If peradventure you sense torment, then it means you are not at the centre of His will. No matter the situation a couple may be faced with in a conjugal union, their peace is guaranteed by God if He brought them together. Remember God does not pay for what He has not order for. Hence, when it comes to choosing a destiny partner, let God, the destiny Maker superimpose His will in this regard and you will never say  ” Had I known.”

RELATED, They Told Me To Marry You – 1

4. It’s A Lifelong Responsibility That No One Else Should Decide For You.

Whom you marry can either make or mar your destiny. You have heard this before right? Interestingly, many who are now regretting in their marriage have also heard it before they got married. However, they did not allow this truth to set them free, primarily by taking responsibility for the choice of their life partner.

In these days of so much access to knowledge and revelations of God we can not afford to shift the responsibility of connecting with our destiny partners into the hands of some hungry and deceitful prophets and pastors, even friends, who can sell one’s destiny for cash.

A sister once told me about a Pastor, somewhere, I think in Ogun state, Nigeria, who match makes singles (of course, desperate ones). I can’t remember how she came into contact with him but eventually he (the Pastor) matched make her with one guy who was not focused and decisive about his life. I got to know because I was privileged to meet the guy in question. I had warned her earlier (before I had contact with the young man) when she hinted me about the guy and how they met, that she was treading a dangerous path. But at that time it seemed like a bitter pill for her to swallow until she realized it herself. Thank God she did.

However, she had wasted time and resources with the said guy before she backed out. I speak by knowledge of the Spirit, human matchmaking does not guarantee having a marriage as God intended- a peaceful, purposeful and restful marital experience.
Whom you marry is capable of minimizing or maximizing your destiny.

5. Often Those Who Recommend Have Some Hidden Vested Interest.

This is the case with most people who try to recommend a life partner to some individuals. One major reason why you should beware of marrying a recommended person is the possibility of VESTED interest in the recommender. Initially, this may not be visible but with time it is made known. However, the main danger in it, is that-  the one recommending may be aware that the two persons involved are a mismatch but due to vested interest he does not reconsider his action.

Whereas when God connects His children by Himself in marriage, there is nothing like vested interest. What subsists is all-round MUTUAL interest- as it bothers on God, the Destiny-maker, and the two destinies coming together as one.

Finally, if you don’t want to make a regrettable choice, let God connect you and not any man or prophet. Don’t marry a person just to please your parents and catapult yourself out of destiny. Ten thousand prophet can not determine your accurate path as the Spirit of God Himself would do for you. So, I encourage you to develop and work on your relationship with the Holy Spirit. But don’t wait until it’s time to get married before you do that.

©️ MAGI

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