Good And Regular Sex: A Key To Strong And Healthy Marriages

The importance of fulfilling and regular sex in nurturing good and healthy marriages cannot be overemphasized. Sexual intimacy is a key to marital sanity.

The role of sex in a marriage covenant is so strong, and it was intentionally ordained by God. Sex, though marginal in terms of what makes or mars a marriage is still intrinsically vital to the health and sustainability of every conjugal union.

Sex is another idea of God meant to solidify marriage covenants and to also keep them very effective. Sex is more than just fun in a marriage. Truly, there is a fun side to it, talking about how two sexual partners (of course, a husband and a wife) enjoy sexual pleasure and foreplay; yet it goes beyond this essentially.

Sex is the highest physical binding force between two people in this world. But it is reserved for only married folks by the originator’s design for an erratic union such as this. Like all other covenants, sex is the seal, symbol, and strength of a marriage blood covenant. It is vital to note that the covenant nature of sex in marriage is what makes its frequent involvement sacrosanct. Covenants, either good or evil remain active and relevant to the parties as long as the terms are renewed at the set time. And virtually all covenants have a renewable nature. I understood that the terms that support the renewal of covenants are as strong as the initial covenant vows themselves.

“A good and regular sex is not just for the fun or pleasure therein, it is a covenant renewal act that comes with immense spiritual, natural and emotional benefits.”

Covenants are completely different from contracts. Covenants are delicate, deeper and more demanding than mere contracts. For example, covenants are more spiritual and emotional whereas contracts are more physical and technical. It is, for this reason, that covenant partners in all forms of covenant pay dearly for not keeping to the terms of the covenant. And often than not, terms of the covenant are periodic and time-bound.

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To the best of my knowledge, I know sex is perhaps the only platform for the renewal of the marriage covenant among couples as established by God. Provisions of comfort for the family and good schools for the children does not suffice. Marriage covenant can not be renewed by the number of cars in your family garage or a wardrobe full of clothes. All these are good but they are not good enough to replace good and regular sex- the medium for the renewal of marriage covenant between a man and a woman.

From numerous counselling sessions I have had, it is obvious that quite many couples take frequent sex for granted in their conjugal relationship. But that is not marriage and sex life as God intended married people. Sex is that part of a marriage covenant that must be attended to with a purposeful heart because of the role it plays in the covenant (being the renewal platform). There is no covenant of any kind that remains valid and strong without some renewal ritual rites, and the marriage covenant is not excused.

“I know sex is perhaps the only platform for the renewal of the marriage covenant among couples as established by God.”

So when couples use abstinence from sex as a punitive tool or a bait towards their spouse, they are missing out a great deal in this particular covenant, unknown to them. The covenant role of sex in a marriage is too strong for any couple to think or behave as if sex is not a big deal in the union.
Good and regular sex in a marital relationship is not supposed to be negotiated for anything, not even for intense spousal misunderstandings or fatigue.

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But only wise and knowledgeable couples understand this intrinsic role of sex in the institution of marriage as God intended.

Perhaps that is why God, through the Apostle Paul, made it abundantly clear that couples should not deprive or deny each other of sex for just any funny reason. “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. DO NOT DEPRIVE ONE ANOTHER EXCEPT WITH CONSENT FOR A TIME, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinth. 7;2-5.

All the time when people renew evil (occulitc) and other similar human covenants through a prescribed medium, they don’t see with physical eyes what goes in the spirit realm yet they believe in what they do at that instance. They believe that spirits come to attend to them after such spirits have been provoked or beckoned on by the sacrifice or covenant practice. What happens in marriage covenant when couples engage sex is no different.

Going by the nature of covenants, it is normal to say when legally married couples have sex some spirits are invoked in the marriage ambience for the good and prosperity of the union. And as much as this is done, these spirits are present to assist a couple do well coupled with the engagement of other principles of marriage success. I believe from experience that regular sexual intercourse invokes the spirits of oneness, peace, progress, empathy, goodness, love, kindness, sacrifice, commitment and so on.

“Virtually all the troubled couples I have counselled due to marital conflicts have the history of irregular and scarcity of sex in their union.”

Have you wondered why the word of God encourged couples to indulge in much foreplay which leads to sexual activity? “As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And ALWAYS be enraptured with her love.” (Prov. 5:19). The word of God further specified that Christian couples are only allowed to take a SHORT BREAK  from sexual intercourse ONLY on the ground of spiritual devotion to prayer and fasting. And they must both agree on it. “Do not deprive one another except with CONSENT  FOR A TIME, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinth. 5:7.

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Virtually all the troubled couples I have counselled due to marital conflicts have the history of irregular and scarcity of sex in their union. Some stay as long as three to six months without sexual intercourse. This is dangerous to the marriage covenant and its efficacy. Unfortunately, many couples don’t take recognisance of this anti-marriage attitude which has cost majority a sound and good marriage. In some instances, this poor attitude towards this sexual covenant practice has even hampered some couples from leading a good life and fulfilling their destiny.

“Besides, according to the findings of medical practitioners, psychologists and sex therapists, there are other positive functions that consistent sexual activity serves in the bodies and minds of couples.”

Regular copulation between a couple is health and strength to their marriage and home; because it is the main means for renewing the marriage blood covenant. And of course, this frequent sexual and renewal activity tends to reactivate and invigorate the marital relationship in a way that is required to start a healthy marriage and family life.

In conclusion, for clarity, I suggest every couple that wants to benefit from the supernatural and natural effect of the glory of sex in the marriage should engage in sexual intercourse at least ONCE every ten days. Once they live together in the same town (house) and there is no ongoing ‘dry’ fasting and prayer, good and enjoyable sex should happen at least once in every seven to ten days.

For a couple who have more time and are self-employed, the frequency could be higher with them. Anything short of this may impact negatively on the health status of a couple and their home.

Remember, good and regular sex is not just for the fun or pleasure therein, it is a covenant renewal act that comes with immense spiritual, natural and emotional benefits. And these gains translate into many other good things in a couple’s life. Besides, according to the findings of medical practitioners, psychologists and sex therapists, there are other positive functions that consistent sexual activity serves in the bodies and minds of couples.

©️ MAGI

Attention Please: If this message has impacted you positively, PLEASE LET US KNOW in the comment column. You should do this to encourage us to do more. Thank you for your positive response.

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Can My Pastor, Prophet Or Parents Choose A Spouse For Me? (They Told Me To Marry You -2)

The answer to this cardinal question of life trending among many young unmarried Christians seeking marriage these days is- capital underlined NO.

It is not even debatable neither should it be a point of controversy before those who understand the way of God. Please just endeavour to read to the end and you’ll agree with on this eye-opening submission on the subject matter.

Too many married people are wallowing in the sea of regrets these days owing to this manipulative approach to getting married.

If you are unmarried and you want to secure a fulfilling marital destiny through sound knowledge, then don’t try to consider marrying an individual on the recommendation of your parents, friends, prophet and your pastor. This notion, that someone can be recommended as a future life partner is a major reason why some couples all over the world are in secret pains today in their unions consummated with a recommended partner. It’s also one of the main causes of divorce and separation among many couples.

The truth is: anyone who depends on God to help him or her connect with a destiny partner tends to always have better confidence to cope with things should anything go wrong along the line in that union. But if it’s a case of some persons persuaded them to marry their partner, it’s a lot much easier to blame the third party for all the unexpected and to decide to walk out of the relationship.

However, i would love to acknowledge that there may be few exceptions to these scenarios painted above. It’s just that many are trying to build their marriage dreams on these exceptions and it’s costly, hence the necessity of this post.

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The best thing your pastor and parents can do for you in this regard is to guide you like I am doing now but the final choice is still your singular responsibility and majorly tied to divine leadership. Please don’t misunderstand me- it is not a crime to be close to your pastor or parents, but when it comes to making a choice of a life partner you must draw the line.

I understand that some persons may be so close to their pastors or parents that they may want to suggest to them whom to marry, claiming that they are doing so in their best interest but we must all wake up to the reality of choosing our own wife and our own husband. It is only God that can help you out in this matter besides the marriage counselling knowledge you have acquired.

Choosing or knowing whom to marry is a private matter, no one can (should) do it for you. Just like nobody can eat for you or sleep for you, no one has the capacity to choose or recommend a partner to you. It is about your life and destiny, not theirs. And like I normally say humorously: If you go ahead to marry a recommended person, you may as well prepare for avoidable recommended troubles in marriage.

Someone would say but I know some persons who got married on recommendation and they are doing fine. That is perhaps an exception, yet we can not build rightness of deed on a few exceptions. But I can confidently tell that there are vast others who are having regrettable marriages because their partners were recommended to them by somebody with possible vested interest.

As a matter of fact, even those few exceptions will usually have something still missing in their union when we look at it from the view of destiny fulfilment. And this may remain oblivious to the two persons concerned even through out a lifetime. While some may realise it when it’s probably too late for them to make any changes.
Interestingly, we don’t score our destinies ourselves but we’ll often have an idea of how well we did or didn’t do if we are sincere in our conscience.

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2. No One Knows Tomorrow Like God.

It is incontestable that no man or angel has a perfect knowledge of the future like God, the All-Knowing One. The bible says: He declares the end from the beginning and at the same time, He is the Alpha and Omega. So a couple is always safe in His hands and in His plan if He is the connecting link, no matter what comes their way in marriage.

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The best of men are men at their best. So a man’s knowledge is too limited to connect you to an accurate destiny partner. Instead, I urge you to take time to seek your destiny maker and He will direct your path if you trust in Him with all your heart in this regard. By God’s providence, I am a blessed and living proof of God being the Perfect Matchmaker.

For emphasis, I maintain that- no one can truly determine who agrees with your destiny and bring them your way than THE DESTINY MAKER, God. In fact, this should happen almost naturally and by what is called divine providence. And this, without any human arrangement. However, there may be human involvement. These two are entirely different.
For instance, as a serving Youth Pastor in one of our headquarters churches between 2015 and 2017, I appointed eight executive members to work with me. Along the line two of them got engaged and wedded in 2018. On the wedding day, another exco member of the same set said to me that I was the one God used to bring this new couple together; on hearing that- I just smiled. You see, I was involved in their meeting each other but I never brought them together to get married but to work with me as a team under my leadership. I never talked about marriage to them once neither did I suggest it anyway while working together. But as they served with me on the same board, God himself connected them. Today, they are happily married.

3. It Gives Room For Tormenting Marital Experience.

Marrying a person God did not connect you with by Himself can make that marriage tormenting to you because only God can guarantee your peace by all means.

2 Thessalonians. 3:16

“Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace always by means.” (KJV)

There is no torment in doing God’s will or pleasure in anything including marriage. If peradventure you sense torment, then it means you are not at the centre of His will. No matter the situation a couple may be faced with in a conjugal union, their peace is guaranteed by God if He brought them together. Remember God does not pay for what He has not order for. Hence, when it comes to choosing a destiny partner, let God, the destiny Maker superimpose His will in this regard and you will never say  ” Had I known.”

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4. It’s A Lifelong Responsibility That No One Else Should Decide For You.

Whom you marry can either make or mar your destiny. You have heard this before right? Interestingly, many who are now regretting in their marriage have also heard it before they got married. However, they did not allow this truth to set them free, primarily by taking responsibility for the choice of their life partner.

In these days of so much access to knowledge and revelations of God we can not afford to shift the responsibility of connecting with our destiny partners into the hands of some hungry and deceitful prophets and pastors, even friends, who can sell one’s destiny for cash.

A sister once told me about a Pastor, somewhere, I think in Ogun state, Nigeria, who match makes singles (of course, desperate ones). I can’t remember how she came into contact with him but eventually he (the Pastor) matched make her with one guy who was not focused and decisive about his life. I got to know because I was privileged to meet the guy in question. I had warned her earlier (before I had contact with the young man) when she hinted me about the guy and how they met, that she was treading a dangerous path. But at that time it seemed like a bitter pill for her to swallow until she realized it herself. Thank God she did.

However, she had wasted time and resources with the said guy before she backed out. I speak by knowledge of the Spirit, human matchmaking does not guarantee having a marriage as God intended- a peaceful, purposeful and restful marital experience.
Whom you marry is capable of minimizing or maximizing your destiny.

5. Often Those Who Recommend Have Some Hidden Vested Interest.

This is the case with most people who try to recommend a life partner to some individuals. One major reason why you should beware of marrying a recommended person is the possibility of VESTED interest in the recommender. Initially, this may not be visible but with time it is made known. However, the main danger in it, is that-  the one recommending may be aware that the two persons involved are a mismatch but due to vested interest he does not reconsider his action.

Whereas when God connects His children by Himself in marriage, there is nothing like vested interest. What subsists is all-round MUTUAL interest- as it bothers on God, the Destiny-maker, and the two destinies coming together as one.

Finally, if you don’t want to make a regrettable choice, let God connect you and not any man or prophet. Don’t marry a person just to please your parents and catapult yourself out of destiny. Ten thousand prophet can not determine your accurate path as the Spirit of God Himself would do for you. So, I encourage you to develop and work on your relationship with the Holy Spirit. But don’t wait until it’s time to get married before you do that.

©️ MAGI

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THEY TOLD ME TO MARRY YOU – 1

“Ignorant zeal is worthless; haste makes waste.” Prov.19:2
(The Message)

‘Ignorant zeal’ in the scripture above suggests being zealous to do what you don’t know how to do. More often than not, the outcome is usually fatal and very unpleasant. This is exactly what many Christian singles seem to be doing today. They are zealous about marriage stuff, yet they lack the basic knowledge needed to get married and, more importantly, to stay married.

The topic of my discussion here is something many unmarried persons have taken for granted while preparing to get married, which has led to their marital destiny being truncated and trashed. Marrying a person on the recommendation of others is perhaps one of the greatest sources of self-inflicted pain that many couples face today in life and in their marriage.

The decision about whom to marry is too sensitive and slippery for any individual to allow other people to administer. I boldly say: If you are unmarried and you don’t want your labor and desire to have a good and fulfilling marital life to be in vain after you wed, then make a decision today that you WILL NOT marry anybody based on a recommendation.

Whoever it may be – be it your friends, your pastor, a prophet, or your parents; none of these qualifies to choose or recommend a life partner to you. The simple reasons are my focus in this teaching. It’s in your own best interest to be determined to marry the person God (not anybody else) wants you to marry: the one whom He has aligned your destiny path with before you were born.

I tell you from experience when it comes to choosing a life partner, there is nothing so soothing like marrying the bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh. A proverb among the Yorubas, a tribe in Nigeria, West Africa, says: “A guy or lady that misses it in the choice of a life partner, his or her experience is best likened to that of a log (wood) cutter who carries ant-infested log on the head while returning home from the farm.” I am sure my guess on what would follow after is as good as yours.

There are a number of things that can happen in such a scenario. One thing is certain, his journey with that ant-infested wood will likely be aborted or unsuccessful, especially if they are the black soldier ants ( with Sharp stings) of the ants family.
Similarly, most people who marry on recommendation, if not all, rarely succeed in marriage as God intended for mankind from the beginning of creation due to mismatch. They seem to always full of regrets because they did not marry whom their heart and Destiny-Maker ordained for them in life.

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Moreover, among them are those who easily give up on a marital affair when they reach a breaking point in the journey. This is because, in the first place, they had no personal conviction or guidance in choosing to marry their partners. Unfortunately, getting married is not like taking school exams, where one can resit if one fails. In marriage, one can’t simply remarry if they encounter marital problems or failure. You are expected to stay until it works out. Remember, only death should separate a couple, provided there is no domestic violence.

SOME REASONS WHY  MARRYING A RECOMMENDED PERSON COULD BE VERY DANGEROUS.

1. Marriage Is All About Fulfilling Destiny.

I have come to a conclusion, after doing one or two pieces of research, that 99.9% of humanity has a destiny involving marriage. This means that all the men and women in the world who have no inclination towards celibacy (the 99.9%) will need a viable marital relationship at a set time in their lives to be able to maximize their destiny. On the other hand, the remaining less than 0.1%, who are celibates, will be able to live a full life without marriage. Among them were Jesus Christ, Paul, Elijah, Elisha, etc. Additionally, we have present-day Reverend Fathers, monks, and other individuals separated for religious reasons, primarily.

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For clarification, a celibate is someone who has never been involved in a carnal or sensual relationship with the opposite sex and does not intend to try one in the future.

So, if this is the case, then no man, regardless of status, is accurate enough to link you up with a destiny partner than the Destiny Maker Himself. He is the ONLY and UNMISTAKABLE Perfect Match Maker of men and women when it comes to marriage and maximizing destiny. No one knows our frame like God.

The word of God in Psalm 95:6 says the Lord is our Maker. He is the script writer of our destinies according to Psalm. 139:17- “

“Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book, they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.”

So, it’s practically impossible to depend on any man to connect you with your destiny partner when he was not there when you were formed in your mother’s womb; neither are such individuals privy to the book of destiny written about you by the destiny scriptwriter Himself. Therefore, since there is a strong relationship between our marriage and destiny, it is destiny-threatening to thrust the choice of a marriage partner to the judgment of any mortal man.

Because the Lord Himself sets each of our destinies before we even show up here in this life, He knows who fits perfectly into our destiny mold. As such, we cannot afford to subject this destiny-making decision to the control of some human recommendations and manipulations.

It will amaze you to know that the majority of couples and marriages that are arranged usually end up as victims of human and emotional manipulation. This is verifiable all around us. Without any doubt, countless people have had their destinies distorted due to this misguided approach to a serious matter like marriage. Irrespective of the contrary opinions of some individuals regarding the criticism of this process of choosing a life mate, I maintain that only the Almighty has the prerogative to connect people with their destiny partners, especially those who live for Him.

Please, kindly read up the concluding part of this write up under the topic –Can My Pastor, Prophet or Parents Choose for Me? Thank you.

©️ MAGI

Attention Please: If this message has impacted you positively, PLEASE LET US KNOW in the comment column. You should do this to encourage me to do more. Thank you for your positive response.

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THE POWER OF ATTRACTION WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING A RIGHT PARTNER

The power of attraction is one of the greatest pieces of wisdom for entering into right and fulfilling relationships, but unbelievably, many young unmarried people have yet to understand this. The truth is: had Christian singles understood the power and principle of attraction, a good number of them would not have been caught in the web of regrettable marriages that are grossly witnessed today.

I have had to counsel people who, after their wedding, felt they were attracted to the wrong person, but then it was too late to change their choice. If you are unmarried, keep this in mind: often, the best chance you have to build a fulfilling marital relationship starts with your choice. Hence, you must be committed to being attractive for the right reasons and being attracted to the right things in your prospect.

When it comes to relationship matters, you often attract a person like yourself. The earlier one wakes up to this truth, the better it is for anyone who wants to take delivery of a glorious and enviable marital destiny. Some time ago, a pastor and I were discussing his sister’s rakish and rude behavior towards people in general. As we talked, he made me understand how tough it will be for his sister to adjust her unruly behavior, explaining that her husband is like her. Hence, his sister seems to be comfortable with that faulty behavioral pattern because her husband shares the same traits.

For some time now, I have not stopped emphasizing to singles that if they look forward to having a model marriage, then they should be wise in making themselves a prepared vessel (by working on themselves) so that it will be easy for them to attract a prepared vessel like themselves.

Matt. 7:12 states one of the greatest relationship laws: The Law of Fairness. It is when you have developed yourself into an understanding person that you will be able to discern another understanding person like you. Since you possess that nature, it’s much easier to identify someone with a similar nature. This is almost normal and natural to life and living.

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For example, in my parlance, in Nigeria, it is said that: the best person that can trail a thief is usually a thief like him. Similarly, the person who is cunning will easily discern a fellow cunning person when they meet.

The Power of Attraction can not be overemphasized when it comes to relationship matters.
This attraction stuff, from experience and observations, is more spiritual and supernatural in its outcome, than anything else. It is what you put in that determines what you get out of it. Who you are, you attract. I can say this is sacrosanct, from my counselling experience and relationship study.

The big question now is- are you magnetizable or magnetic enough as an unmarried person to attract your dream partner. Do you have the magnetic properties that make you attractive to your dream spouse and which in turn make him or her be magnetizable to you?

Don’t be deceived, even in metals studies, the power of attraction does not come alive in any instance until a magnet comes into contact with a magnetizable material. So it’ll take the magnet and the magnetizable to birth the Power of Attraction.

“Who you are, you attract.
I can say this is sacrosanct, from my counselling experience and relationship study.”

By the grace of God, I can boldly say that my blessed wife was indeed a dream partner at the time I proposed to her; although I did not see these qualities manifest in her until some years after we got married. It’s so exciting that virtually every dream and desire I had about the one who would be my life partner has been playing out in my wife since we got married about 15 years ago. And it’s the same with her concerning me. That’s the power of attraction in connecting with the right person for you and your destiny.

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Now, the interesting thing about our coming together was that neither of us had a list of all we wanted in a prospect that could form prayer points before God. Our desire was basically just to get married in the will of God to a partner who loves and fears God. We had no particular list of features or conditions itemized about whom we would settle for, besides the aforementioned basics. But one day, I was attracted to her. Why? Because by God’s grace, I was magnetizable, and she was magnetic with respect to what we desired in our future spouse.

“Not too long there will be an attraction that would graduate into a desirable connection which leads to a dream robust marriage.”

Do you know that when a magnet comes into contact with a non-magnetizable material, the power of attraction does not become visible; rather, what happens is repulsion? Why? A magnet is sensitive to metals and materials that have one or more magnetic properties. Except for iron, cobalt, or nickel in metal, it can never be magnetic, even if you pray and fast for 40 days and 40 nights.

In the same vein, succeeding in nurturing effective, progressive, and promising relationships does not start and stop with prayers and fasting or the mere acquisition of education; you must have the right virtues and values that make you attractive to the one who will readily complement your efforts towards building your dream marriage and living a fulfilled life.

So, would you like to attract the right partner as a single person or an unmarried person who desires a good and fulfilling marriage? Then make yourself magnetizable to your dream partner by becoming magnetic to him or her. Take time to internalize those values and characteristics you want in your prospect. Before too long, there will be an attraction that will graduate into a desirable connection that leads to a robust dream marriage.

© Seyi Igunsabi for M.A.G.I

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