Is life better after marriage? - Marriage as God Intended

I know this is one question many would want to make a controversy out of. However, anyone who has an appreciable understanding of God’s original plan for marriage, though lost to sin in Adam but regained in Christ, would admit humbly that this does not call for any controversy.

To some, life after marriage seems to be a thing of luck while for others it is a predestined experience that couples can not change. But how true can this be? Personally, as a Christian marriage counselor and a relationship coach, I strongly differ from both. Because the only marriage manual (the bible) which I have read, studied, and digested does not suggest those allusions in the least way.

In life generally, no worthwhile and credible achievement comes on luck. This may be disputable in some quarters but I remain unchanging on this submission I just made. It’s a deep deception for intending couples and certified couples to be made to believe that success in marriage is largely a matter of luck or predestination. This is not true as it is for students’ success in exams to be predestined or to happen by chance, especially for grade ‘A’ students. In the words of Abraham Lincoln- “The best way to predict your future is to create it.” Nothing can be further from the truth than this.

Success factor in any worthy pursuit of life is averagely hinged on more of preparations and knowledge than any other thing. No true success is predestined rather it is often predetermined by doing the needful and satisfying certain preconditions in the required field. Even the Holy book makes it clear that – diligence is a prerequisite for outstanding success and honourable treatment (Prov. 22:29). In the same light, success in marriage or life after marriage can not be predestined or tied to some sort of lucky deep kinds of stuff.

Life after marriage could turn out to be so beautiful or be made awful, depending on the parties involved and their preparations for this very unique union. It also depends largely on their understanding of the concept and significance of marriage. So living a better life after you unite with your partner is a great possibility but it’s also a choice each couple has to make and accept responsibility for it.

But going by God’s design and His purpose for marriage, marriage is expected to enlist couples for a better life going by God’s first injunction on marriage. He said- “It is not good for a man to be alone.” It invariably means: a man should be with a wife and a woman should be with husband; after all, two are better than one.

The following factors will affect life after marriage positively or adversely in the life of any couple.

1. The Place Given To God in the Marriage and Home.

Just like you can not cut a man’s hair in his absence, no life after marriage can be better than allowing the Originator of the idea to dictate the pace of operation. From my personal experience, no couple who follow God’s instructions on marriage that will not be better off in marriage. God’s guidelines on marriage operations and functions of a couple are precise and unambiguous in the Bible. No couple gives God the lead in their marriage that will not do great in it.

2. The Understanding Level of Both Parties About The Concept and Intricacies Of Marriage Matters.

I am fully convinced that so many Christian singles and married people today are confronted with more relationship challenges than necessary because they don’t understand certain things about relationships as they should.
And what you don’t know, you don’t know. If you know, you know. Marriage is a concept and a more practical way of life, one needs to be schooled in it to thrive in it.

3. The Promotion or Frustration of Unity of Purpose.

If there is one thing that facilitates or hamper progress in a marital union, it’s the unity of purpose. The way God designed marriage is that- it soars and abounds in every good way when the couple is UNITED on almost all fronts. That is why oneness is the first proof or seal on an existing conjugal union (Gen. 2:24).

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It is wisdom in a couple’s heart to ensure the progress and prosperity of their marital and family union by fostering unity as much as possible. Remember, a house divided against itself can not be built, talk more of the stand.

4. Entrenchment of Interdependence Rather Than Independence In Marital And Family Life Matters.

No couple that promotes independence in marriage instead of interdependence can lead a robust and progressive marital union and family life. This means a couple can not experience the real joy, the blessed bliss and the unlimited power of a marital union by becoming independent of each other. Rather interdependence is the key to a THRIVING in marriage anywhere on the globe.

If you think you can do without your spouse then that marriage will not work well. Even cutting the communication line with your spouse due to strife for more than twenty-four hours will impact negatively on the health of your home-cum-marriage life.

5. Pursuit Of Mutual Interest As Against Personal Interest.

Success in marriage is always bound to be mutual-interest based. This is because the coming together of a couple is not just a ‘joining together’, it’s more of a FUSION. When a man marries a woman, two become one flesh, they become fused into one inseparable entity. So it’s usually difficult and almost impossible to get along well in marriage and life when you pursue your interests to the detriment of your partners.

I believe with these few points of mine, and others I would have highlighted but for certain constraints, no one should not live a better life after marriage if they adhere to these things.

©️ MAGI

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