Effective marriage matches are perhaps one of the most difficult relationship challenges intending couples are confronted with these days. Marriage compatibility is too sensitive a matter to wink at when choosing a life partner, yet many unmarried folks are still taking things for granted in this regard.

Many young and elderly couples are regretting their marriage decisions today because they either overrated or misinterpreted the issue of compatibility as it relates to marriage. And like I have always said: “What you don’t know, you don’t know.”

Ignorance does not exonerate anyone from it’s biting consequences.

I know that compatibility is synonymous with marital relationships, no doubt about that, but it is not the way the majority take it.
As I go about speaking to young people about marriage and relationships, I can say one of the most critical issues of marriage and building successful marital relationships is the issue of compatibility. Compatibility, as it relates to marriage, is a quite slippery and sensitive matter. Hence, a good understanding of it and the correct approach can not be over-emphasized.

Moreover, I have also observed that aligning the concept of compatibility with the process of choosing a life partner is one of the most misrepresented topics in relationship matters.

If you have ever thought compatibility is all about looking out for certain personality traits in a guy or lady you want to marry, the truth is- you need to UNLEARN that. This notion is misleading and it is capable of distorting anyone’s marital destiny. In terms of choosing someone you will live with for the rest of your life, compatibility is much more than just settling for some preferred physical or sensual features in a prospect.

For example, some individuals believe compatibility means- ‘I am cool and reserved’ so I must marry a person ‘who is outspoken’. Who says? Which marriage manual teaches that? I have seen two outspoken persons who are married and are doing great, as in great in every sense of it. Please understand this- ‘Compatibility’ goes beyond temperamental issues but it does not exclude it.

It is also common to see unmarried youths relate compatibility with the skin colour, height, career profile or tribe of a preferred prospect.
For destiny’s sake, what do skin colour, height, body shape, beauty or career profile have to do with compatibility in marriage?

Compatibility still has its root in spirituality and divinity more than anything else in terms of fulfilling marital destiny, as I would explain shortly.

In other words, compatibility in relationships, particularly, in marriage as God intended for His children and mankind at large, has little or nothing to do with the things the eyes can see. True compatibility components transcend physical features and temperamental alignment. That’s why we can never overemphasise the God factor or divine intervention in finding a true and fulfilling life partner.

Compatibility is more of a matter of character than personality.
Revelation 3:1 defines Character and Personality unmistakably. It reads: “And to the angel of the church in Sardis write: These things say He who has the seven Spirits of God and the seven stars: “I know your works, that YOU HAVE A NAME THAT YOU ARE ALIVE (personality & reputation), BUT YOU’RE DEAD (character & reality).”

“You are supposed to be compatible with someone who aligns with your destiny and understands your character. “

Personality is who people say a person is or who they think he or she is. I have heard too many wounded spouses talk about the fact the person they got married to is not who they thought they were. It’s not unlikely that most of these regrettable relationships were founded on false compatibility parameters.

Character on the other hand is who an individual really is; the values and attitudes that underlie their true nature. And all of this goes beyond the ‘Swags’, ‘body shape’, ‘skin colour’ and ‘career placement’ or ‘family background ‘. Don’t marry who people say he or she is but marry who he or she really is. The truth is when most people talk about compatibility they usually focus on personality and stuffs like that, whereas that could be very deceptive.

You are supposed to be compatible with someone who aligns with your destiny and who understands your character. Somebody who can sail through the storms of life with you and optimise the good times as well, without the relationship falling apart or suffering shipwreck.  I mean a person who will cruise the boat of destiny with you without crushing it.

SEE THIS, The Great Misconception About Compatibility And Marriage- 2

All in the name of compatibility, some people marry based on the carriage of the guy or the sister, for them, going to functions with such a person makes them a proud husband or wife. Can you imagine that? Also, compatibility in marriage is NOT a career man marrying a self-employed woman so that she would have time for the kids.
No, sir!

What fallacious assumptions on compatibility as it relates to this sensitive and fragile institution?

In the sequel to this post, I will explain in detail the meaning of compatibility and the indisputable role it plays in making a couple maximise their potentials and destiny together.

©️ MAGI

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