By Seyi Igunsabi.

Being secretive in marriage or keeping a secret from your spouse is capable of destroying an essential component of your relationship—Trust. This can be devastating as it could hurt badly when you eventually discover something about your spouse or marriage from the third party or by accident! You cannot run marriage with such disposition as you may be setting up your union for trouble and possible dissolution in the future.

Couples are expected to ‘Secret-Proof’ their marriage. In other words, the keeping of secrets from your spouse should not be condoned or encouraged. Rather ‘Openness’ is what should be embraced as the best policy in marriage. This is sacrosanct.

Genesis 2:25

“And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”

Hiding things from your spouse especially as it concerns your marriage or family as a whole can be detrimental to your relationship.
Frankly, such action can cost you the peace, progress and success of your marriage.

Think of it, the coming together of a man and a woman in holy matrimony makes them one inseparable whole. In light of this, how do you suppose you could possibly hide something from your spouse without he or she eventually finding out?
You ought to realise that you and your spouse are one and any attempt to hide something from him or her (either for selfish or malicious reasons) could put a heavy strain on your marriage.

Related, Men Only: The Secrets of Bringing Out The Best In Your Wife

Marriage is essentially about sharing—your life, thoughts, inner struggles and vital information about yourself with your spouse with no-holds-barred. If you are not ready for this, then please don’t think about going into marriage at all.
In marriage, there is a limit to ‘Privacy’ and how far you can go with it because marriage thrives best on ‘Openness’.

As a matter of fact, “Privacy is an abomination in marriage.” But for family life, privacy is a good policy.
Marriage is all about ‘nakedness’; if you don’t make everything open to your spouse then you are not in a marriage. At the very best you are flatmates and acquaintances.

Marriage should make couples vulnerable to each other even to the point that your phones or electronic devices password(s) is/are known to your spouse. Denying your spouse access to some so-called secrets on account of privacy is alien to the institution of marriage. Privacy? Your spouse? My friend, marriage is a different ballgame.

Privacy or secrecy is alien to the institution of marriage (as God intended).
Are you truly in a marriage where your spouse does not know and as a policy must not know what your income and other allowances are, or how much profit you make at a time as a business person?
Somebody may say: But Pastor Seyi, my spouse would abuse such information.
Yeah, I understand that perfectly well, but you have a responsibility to build your relationship to the point where trust is at its peak in your marriage.

Besides, you chose to marry your spouse in the first place and if he or she cannot trust you or be open to you about practically everything then you will have yourself to blame when problems that border on trust arise in your relationship.

Never forget that marriage as God intended is all about openness and nakedness.
How would someone who is married have as confidant his or her mum (dad), sibling or a colleague while your own spouse knows little or nothing about you or anything that could impact your marriage?
If you are in the habit of doing this, I’m afraid you don’t have a marriage even though you are legally married and both of you live under one roof.

Sometimes to even take some phone calls, you have to walk away from your spouse with the claim that “network reception is bad.”
Whereas you were only trying to shield your phone discussions from your partner.
What about husbands or wives who are oblivious of their spouse’s next move and plans in their career, business, extended family and personal finance? Such marriages are definitely headed for the rock. It’s only a question of time.

If you cannot be naked or completely open to your spouse on virtually all matters, then you are not in a marriage.
Gen 2:25 establishes this marital truth.
There is no shame whatsoever to either of the couples where superfluous openness and trust are encouraged at all times in the marriage.

Thank you for visiting our blog. Kindly drop your comment.

Also read, 14 Marital Common Sense… Kept Away From Most Troubled  couples.

20 Important Things You Want To Know About True Love