By Seyi Igunsabi.

What a topic, someone may say. But this is one of the realities on the ground even among the so-called Christian couples.

Some Christian women’s tendency to be flirty may sound weird and incredible, however, as a marriage counsellor, following some counselling sessions I have had, it’s now a common possibility. I have the honour of addressing the root cause of this in this post while giving husbands unmistakable counsel to help them curb this marital malady.

“Please get this straight, I am holding no brief for guilty Christian wives but I have some lines of reasoning that could help couples regarding this”

From my counselling sessions, I have discovered that some flirty married women are not intentional about flirting instead they engage in it as a remedial or revenge. What do I mean? 

What I meant is- these supposed demoralised wives seek good feelings from other men and have affairs with them, often because their husbands are not providing such for them and even care less about it. 

One thing we can not wink at about women generally is the fact an average woman is built to be sustained by emotions and affection. Please pardon me, if you are a married man and you don’t know this, then you need to understudy the basics of marriage.

Believe you me, all women are a mesh of emotions; that is why wise men don’t take their emotion for granted.

Now, let’s consider the reasons why some women flirt against their will.

1. THEY WERE PUSHED TO THE WALL.

The fact remains that, most women who flirt do so not because they take pleasure in it, but it’s simply a reaction to being pushed to the wall by their own spouse’s intentional unfaithfulness.
For example, a married Christian woman and a mother of three once told me, while counselling her, of how she has started registering her feelings for another man, an old admirer. Why? Because her husband indulges in so much unfaithfulness with different ladies to her knowledge that he assumes she is too weak to react to it. Yet they are both committed Christians in their local church. And she did hint me that what disgusts her- is the fact that she makes herself available whenever he (her husband) needs her in bed.

So we see that in her case the desire to flirt was born out of a revengeful heart. And this is similar to many ladies out there even supposed Christian women and spiritual ladies.

They flirt because they seek an act of revenge, they want to do the worst so as to get back at their flirty and carefree husbands too. There is a story of another cute and progressive career lady with kids as well who said to my wife that: “the day my husband is caught cheating, that day I also will look for a man to sleep with.”  

So, we see that some women who flirt never had it in their plan when they were getting married, but their insensitive and non- courteous spouses gave them the ground to do it.

2. HUSBANDS REDUCE THEM TO DUMMY WIVES AND SEX MACHINES.

A married woman may also yield to the temptation to flirt when her husband reduces her to a dummy in the house and a mere sex Machine. That is, her opinion does not count in the home and family affairs at all. But when it’s lovemaking, her presence matters in the home.

So when such a woman finds a man who esteems her and makes her look significant when they are together for any reason at all, she is tempted and gets emotionally attached to such a scavenging man.

And often than not, she falls for the scavenger, although she may later regret it; but she gets this momentary consolation in the dangerous arms of a man who seems to appreciate her above her own man.

READ ALSO, Marriage is all about nakedness.

3. SOME HAVE BEEN ROBBED OF ATTENTION, CARE AND COURTESY.

Almost every woman will be emotionally drawn to a man that gives her good and sufficient attention that her hubby starves her of.

Even highly spiritual married women like Pastors’ wives and church women leaders are not exempted in this case.
From observation, women who flirt in the offices or business places are likely to be those who get the attention and care, their husband denies them outrightly, from colleagues and business friends.

In some cases, it’s just simple courtesy and attention that some flirty married women had wanted from their husbands but they never got an inch of it, years into the marriage. As such when they find a man who is courteous and thoughtful towards them, it opens up their feeling pores and before you know it they’ve started falling for the man.

4. WHEN THEY CAN’T PUT CONFIDENCE IN THEIR SPOUSES (MEN).

One of the things that demoralize a married woman is her inability to confide and open up to her own husband on things that bother her- from family life to career, business and whatever.

Men need to know that women are naturally creatures of expression. And they particularly feel good when they have someone who is kind enough to listen to them again and again.

COUNSEL TO THE MEN WHOSE WIVES ARE BEGINNING TO SHOW FLIRTY TENDENCIES:

Hence, my counsel to married men, even Christian men, who have subjected their spouses to this sort of emotional torture and bankruptcy over time- is to start to think of how to turn a new leave before things get out of hand and they have themselves to blame.

Your wife needs your attention more than your job or business requires from you. This is sacrosanct. She grows with affection and glows when you spend time with her.

I admonish, be wise and be committed to impressing your own wive than someone else’s because the reward will be transforming.

Thank you.

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