(Our successful marriage secrets in the first fifteen years of our union are worthy of note. They are practical and workable. Read and learn more from this piece).

As my dear wife and I celebrate the 15th Mile in the journey of marriage, we owe it all, first, to the Lord who brought us together and has sustained us to this day. Then to all who have been part of this worthy experience as a couple, especially our children- Adeola, Orisun and Efeturi. In the words of Minister Louis Farrakhan, “If you are going to lead well, you really need a good woman by your side.” He further said: “A woman properly taught and trained will help a man to be a man.” This is my story as a married man in a score less five years.

With my wife on my side, I have not only succeeded in leading well in various capacities overtime but she has helped me to live well too. Besides, she has indeed helped me a great deal to be a man of intentional living and impact. Thank you my dear wife.

Now, let me share with the newlyweds and intending couples the attitudes and actions that have helped us erect our marital success story in the last fifteen years. They are practical and workable. These are indispensable secrets to a successful marriage

1. We are very honest with our feelings (even the worst ones) to each other.

This particularly has made us to understand each other sufficiently and increasingly. Also, it helped to reduce our strife level in a significant way, year in year out. Fornication and adulterous traps set by some sensational intruders and deadly secret admirers have been checked by this singular marital attitude.

2. We believe in each other.

This is due to the understanding we have about being fused into one person (flesh) by marriage. Hence, the need to believe in each other if we want to be the best God wants us to be for Him and humanity. I have made much more impact in life, ministry and business because my wife always believes in me more than anyone else does.

3. We put God before each other in every way.

That is why there is no truth we can’t tell each other, no matter how hurting and discomforting it may appear. This has helped us to stay focused on the path of righteousness than almost anything else. It is foolish to try to please your spouse at the expense of doing God’s will.

4. We take our spirituality and relationship with God with utmost seriousness.

This is prime. Matt. 6:33. Going by the concept of marriage according to Gen. 2:24, marriage is first spiritual than emotional or sensual. It’s difficult for a truly spiritual couple not to have a successful marital affair besides acquiring the basic knowledge about marriage as God intended.

5. We ensure unity of purpose in 90-95% of decision about our individual lives and family life.

Why? We understand what Jesus meant when he taught that a house divided against itself can not stand. Following this, we respect each other’s opinion on virtually all matters. This approach to life in marriage has helped us in no small measure in making quality and life-enhancing decisions. In fact, it has brought unimaginable breakthroughs to us and our family all these years.

6. We have learn to sacrifice for each other to the maximum.

If there is one unique feature for a building a successful and progressive marriage that has worked for us and it’s still working, it is- Sacrifice. Couples who do not sacrifice for each other and members of their family, will struggle more than necessary to succeed in family circle.

7. We intentionally create fun moments as occasion demands and a few times they happen naturally.

One of the things that spark our togetherness as a couple is freedom of expression and having laughable (fun)moments together. You don’t have to take things serious all the time; create fun, laugh together and play with each other. Your spouse is your friend not your boss or subordinate, therefore have fun and a good time together occasionally and naturally.

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8. In our home, we have a policy never to let any quarrel or misunderstanding last more than 24hrs.

The good testimony is that God has really helped us to keep at this to a very high degree. It has indeed made our home a haven of constant and tangible peace. One of the greatest assets we have as a couple and have leveraged on these fifteen years is PEACE. Peace of God & peace in the home.

9. Constantly taking the lead in spiritual things since we got married has made my wife to have respect for my judgments and decisions.

Every man must as a matter of responsibility be able to provide spiritual leadership and direction for their spouses and children. God expects this from the head of the home. This is sacrosanct for the families and marriages that are progressives. This has nothing to do with being a minister of the gospel or a pastor.

10. Our passion for the fear of God and the things of the kingdom is one of the factors for the strong confidence we have about our far future together.

God holds the future of all people. Becoming committed to doing His pleasure and kingdom work secures the future for you without doubt. He established this in Matt. 6:33. The greatest source of my wife’s rest about me being her husband is my spiritual life, fear of God and passion for the kingdom.

11. My wife is my best and ever available counsellor after the Holy Spirit.

Men who have a spiritually sound and knowledgeable wife whom they take counsel from will appreciate this point better. I have hardly made any costly mistake in life as a married man, a Pastor and a business man because I always take objective counsel from my wife. Listening to your wife or taking counsel from her always does not make you less a man but a better man; two are better than one.

12. Openness in our marriage is top notch and boundless.

In 15 years, TRUST is accountable for ninety per cent of our peace as a couple and confidence towards each other more than anything else. I do tell people in my seminars that- trust is the best policy in marriage. When I share with youths how open my wife and I are with each other, they are taken aback. But this is not difficult, it is what makes marriage thick- Trust.

In a seminar, I recently held in a church, I told them: “Whenever TRUST becomes broken in a marital union, marriage flies out of the window; what is left is coexistence.”

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13. My wife is more temperate than me.

The fact that my wife is more self-controlled than me, has been one of the success buttons for our good & progressive marriage. She is God’s gift to me in this regard. Many who have known me for a while would admit that I could be very strict and straight to act in situations that get me tensed. My wife helps me to apply my emotional break and she does it without fear.

14. We treat our relations and extended family members equally.

This must be sacrosanct in any home where peace and understanding subsist. Treating your relations equally in all respects shows the love and respect you have for each other. It also reveals both of you understand the core concept of the conjugal union. Attending to issues that relate to your extended family members discriminately is odious to the principles of a successful marriage and relationship.

15. We are religiously committed to following divine instructions.

This final point has eased our marital journey and lives as a couple beyond description. We have hardly done anything or take any step except the Lord leads us expressly. Ranging from where we live per time, our children school options, Pastoring work, career and business moves to taking up opportunities that are opened to us.

This is perhaps the greatest source of all our meaningful accomplishments over the years.

I hope I have been able to inspire you with these secrets. Although the cat has been let out of the bag now. Go ahead and use these success buttons, they will certainly lead you to a robust and a happy marital life.

You will observe that I left out our sexual life, I will talk about that at the twentieth anniversary celebration if Christ delays His coming.

© MAGI

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