The answer to this cardinal question of life trending among many young unmarried Christians seeking marriage these days is- capital underlined NO.
It is not even debatable neither should it be a point of controversy before those who understand the way of God. Please just endeavour to read to the end and you’ll agree with on this eye-opening submission on the subject matter.
Too many married people are wallowing in the sea of regrets these days owing to this manipulative approach to getting married.
If you are unmarried and you want to secure a fulfilling marital destiny through sound knowledge, then don’t try to consider marrying an individual on the recommendation of your parents, friends, prophet and your pastor. This notion, that someone can be recommended as a future life partner is a major reason why some couples all over the world are in secret pains today in their unions consummated with a recommended partner. It’s also one of the main causes of divorce and separation among many couples.
The truth is: anyone who depends on God to help him or her connect with a destiny partner tends to always have better confidence to cope with things should anything go wrong along the line in that union. But if it’s a case of some persons persuaded them to marry their partner, it’s a lot much easier to blame the third party for all the unexpected and to decide to walk out of the relationship.
However, i would love to acknowledge that there may be few exceptions to these scenarios painted above. It’s just that many are trying to build their marriage dreams on these exceptions and it’s costly, hence the necessity of this post.
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The best thing your pastor and parents can do for you in this regard is to guide you like I am doing now but the final choice is still your singular responsibility and majorly tied to divine leadership. Please don’t misunderstand me- it is not a crime to be close to your pastor or parents, but when it comes to making a choice of a life partner you must draw the line.
I understand that some persons may be so close to their pastors or parents that they may want to suggest to them whom to marry, claiming that they are doing so in their best interest but we must all wake up to the reality of choosing our own wife and our own husband. It is only God that can help you out in this matter besides the marriage counselling knowledge you have acquired.
Choosing or knowing whom to marry is a private matter, no one can (should) do it for you. Just like nobody can eat for you or sleep for you, no one has the capacity to choose or recommend a partner to you. It is about your life and destiny, not theirs. And like I normally say humorously: If you go ahead to marry a recommended person, you may as well prepare for avoidable recommended troubles in marriage.
Someone would say but I know some persons who got married on recommendation and they are doing fine. That is perhaps an exception, yet we can not build rightness of deed on a few exceptions. But I can confidently tell that there are vast others who are having regrettable marriages because their partners were recommended to them by somebody with possible vested interest.
As a matter of fact, even those few exceptions will usually have something still missing in their union when we look at it from the view of destiny fulfilment. And this may remain oblivious to the two persons concerned even through out a lifetime. While some may realise it when it’s probably too late for them to make any changes.
Interestingly, we don’t score our destinies ourselves but we’ll often have an idea of how well we did or didn’t do if we are sincere in our conscience.
OTHER REASONS WHY MARRYING A RECOMMENDED PERSON COULD BE VERY DANGEROUS.
2. No One Knows Tomorrow Like God.
It is incontestable that no man or angel has a perfect knowledge of the future like God, the All-Knowing One. The bible says: He declares the end from the beginning and at the same time, He is the Alpha and Omega. So a couple is always safe in His hands and in His plan if He is the connecting link, no matter what comes their way in marriage.
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The best of men are men at their best. So a man’s knowledge is too limited to connect you to an accurate destiny partner. Instead, I urge you to take time to seek your destiny maker and He will direct your path if you trust in Him with all your heart in this regard. By God’s providence, I am a blessed and living proof of God being the Perfect Matchmaker.
For emphasis, I maintain that- no one can truly determine who agrees with your destiny and bring them your way than THE DESTINY MAKER, God. In fact, this should happen almost naturally and by what is called divine providence. And this, without any human arrangement. However, there may be human involvement. These two are entirely different.
For instance, as a serving Youth Pastor in one of our headquarters churches between 2015 and 2017, I appointed eight executive members to work with me. Along the line two of them got engaged and wedded in 2018. On the wedding day, another exco member of the same set said to me that I was the one God used to bring this new couple together; on hearing that- I just smiled. You see, I was involved in their meeting each other but I never brought them together to get married but to work with me as a team under my leadership. I never talked about marriage to them once neither did I suggest it anyway while working together. But as they served with me on the same board, God himself connected them. Today, they are happily married.
3. It Gives Room For Tormenting Marital Experience.
Marrying a person God did not connect you with by Himself can make that marriage tormenting to you because only God can guarantee your peace by all means.
2 Thessalonians. 3:16
“Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace always by means.” (KJV)
There is no torment in doing God’s will or pleasure in anything including marriage. If peradventure you sense torment, then it means you are not at the centre of His will. No matter the situation a couple may be faced with in a conjugal union, their peace is guaranteed by God if He brought them together. Remember God does not pay for what He has not order for. Hence, when it comes to choosing a destiny partner, let God, the destiny Maker superimpose His will in this regard and you will never say ” Had I known.”
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4. It’s A Lifelong Responsibility That No One Else Should Decide For You.
Whom you marry can either make or mar your destiny. You have heard this before right? Interestingly, many who are now regretting in their marriage have also heard it before they got married. However, they did not allow this truth to set them free, primarily by taking responsibility for the choice of their life partner.
In these days of so much access to knowledge and revelations of God we can not afford to shift the responsibility of connecting with our destiny partners into the hands of some hungry and deceitful prophets and pastors, even friends, who can sell one’s destiny for cash.
A sister once told me about a Pastor, somewhere, I think in Ogun state, Nigeria, who match makes singles (of course, desperate ones). I can’t remember how she came into contact with him but eventually he (the Pastor) matched make her with one guy who was not focused and decisive about his life. I got to know because I was privileged to meet the guy in question. I had warned her earlier (before I had contact with the young man) when she hinted me about the guy and how they met, that she was treading a dangerous path. But at that time it seemed like a bitter pill for her to swallow until she realized it herself. Thank God she did.
However, she had wasted time and resources with the said guy before she backed out. I speak by knowledge of the Spirit, human matchmaking does not guarantee having a marriage as God intended- a peaceful, purposeful and restful marital experience.
Whom you marry is capable of minimizing or maximizing your destiny.
5. Often Those Who Recommend Have Some Hidden Vested Interest.
This is the case with most people who try to recommend a life partner to some individuals. One major reason why you should beware of marrying a recommended person is the possibility of VESTED interest in the recommender. Initially, this may not be visible but with time it is made known. However, the main danger in it, is that- the one recommending may be aware that the two persons involved are a mismatch but due to vested interest he does not reconsider his action.
Whereas when God connects His children by Himself in marriage, there is nothing like vested interest. What subsists is all-round MUTUAL interest- as it bothers on God, the Destiny-maker, and the two destinies coming together as one.
Finally, if you don’t want to make a regrettable choice, let God connect you and not any man or prophet. Don’t marry a person just to please your parents and catapult yourself out of destiny. Ten thousand prophet can not determine your accurate path as the Spirit of God Himself would do for you. So, I encourage you to develop and work on your relationship with the Holy Spirit. But don’t wait until it’s time to get married before you do that.
©️ MAGI
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Thank you for your points Sir! I want to ask some questions:
1. What if a person finds that they’re very compatible with the person that has been recommended to them, after a period of interaction and getting to know each other, can they not proceed to getting married?
2. Does this then mean that all recommended partners are illegitimate? If No, then what can validate a recommended partner?
3. Since we are leaving it to God to do the match making and we know that God is Spirit, How would we know in the physical realm whom God is matching you with, if for example, there are a number of persons that you find compatible with you?
4. What is the place of MY interest/preferences in the journey of marrying the person God manta me to marry?
I also appreciate you for taking time to read the post.
Now to your first question.
I will not categorically say they can or cannot get married. Pls note that my submission here is a counsel and not a command. However, it is a divine counsel becos it was scripture based.
Also, it depends on what you mean by compatibility. What many young people call compatibility is a strong variation from the true meaning of it.
Compatibility is simply good understanding between two persons or two entities. That is why in the computer world, if you want to open a higher version of any software with a lower version, you get a feedback saying the two versions are not compatible. This means there is no understanding or agreement between them. And it’s usually becos certain intricacies/similarities are missing in one of the versions.
When we talk about compatibility in a relationship THAT WILL LEAD TO MARRIAGE, it has nothing to do with physical amd emotional features that majority use to judge whether they are compatible with someone or not.
Compatibility in this regard is supposed to mean an understanding between two people’s destiny and purpose in life, the (unseen) intricacies . It goes beyond grammatical expression of the prospect, his educational backgrounds, preferred size or height, career path, fellowship and so on. It’s usually more of intangibilities of destiny than anything else. That is why it still boils down to God who is the perfect Matchmaker becos He even knew us while we were being formed in our mother’s womb. Hence, no one can truly determine who agrees with your destiny and bring them your way than THE DESTINY MAKER, God. This should happen almost naturally and by what is called divne providence. And this without any human arrangement.
To your 2nd question:
For me, it’s more of yes than any other suggestive response. Like I did say in the part one of this write up (They told me to marry you), marriage is too slippery and sensitive a matter to consider recommendation of a DESTINY partner from a man.
Someone would say but I know two persons who got married like this and they are doing perfectly well.
But believe you me, something will still be missing when we look at it from the view of destiny fulfilment. And this may remain oblivious to the two concerned even thru out a lifetime. While some may realise when it probably too late for them to make any changes.
Interestingly, we don’t score our destinies ourselves but we’ll often have an idea of how well we did or didn’t if we are sincere with our conscience.
So for me, I don’t know what validates a partner you marry on recommendation, except you have been connected by the destiny setter Himslef. And then both of you just know that we are made from heaven for each other.
People may be recommended as biz partners, career partners,contract partners but not as destiny partners. All they see is all they could see. But only God sees the heart and knows the future unmistakably, He sees the end from the beginning.
Thirdly, how would you know in the physical realm? Of course, you can’t that discern that in the physical . You must first unveil him or her in the realm m of the spirit, then connect physically. And for your valid information, all humans have access to the realm of spirits that is why we all have a spirit and a soul living in a body.
So it’s left to each of us to explore the realm of the spirit as occasion demands. And this is what many spiritually lazy people, who have not developed a viable relationship with the God of spirits, find difficult to do. Thereby err in many ways.
And come to think of it, if you could believe that the little device in your hand, called mobile phone can connect you to anyone in the world through unseen wavelengths. Then you should be able to admit that God, though unseen, can instruct your spirit and you will act with precision in life issues.
Fourthly, the place of your interest lies in you first gaining an understanding of your divine purpose in life and having a good grab of a sense of destiny. E.g The lady I courted before i met my current wife was mysteriously connected with me by God solely. But when I saw that her behaviours and preferences were going against my own sense of destiny in God, I returned to God. And she walked away by herself. Today I am so blessed to have a wife who is just a perfect match by all STANDARDS.
So once, you get things straighten out with your Destiny Maker, he knows how to align your interest with the right person that fits into the mould of your destiny.
And note, God can start a good course for a man and things could still go wrong but you will never find God to be wrong but the man involved.
I hope I have been able to answers your questions reasonably and convincingly even though not PERFECTLY.
Thanks.
Well said, what of about re known pastors and pastors Mrs that married and still separated, it happened in Nigeria UK and lots in America. Does it mean God does not endorse it or what happened and we have maverick entertainer that doesn’t believe in God and his marriage is over 40 years?
I think one should date access and decide who has same vision as you, someone that fits to mother fatherly roles during courtship instead of thinking one heavily being will come take decision for you.
Why don’t you leave those ones to the judge of all that we will all answer to someday. The fact that men who know and teach the truth live a life full of lies does not weaken the truth. Truth remains true.
As per your second analogy, sir on this blog for the purpose of focus and avoidance of needless controversies that will water down our teachings, we speak to/about only people of like faith. So pls pardon me, I have no answer to that.
On the issue of marrying heavenly beings you mentioned, we can not marry heavenly beings when we are earthly. And God does not send angels from heavenly realm to tie the knots with humans, He will still connect you with people here who fit into our destiny mould. And courtship helps you to consolidate before you say ‘Yes I Do’
Thanks.
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Thanks Sir for these piece and for the responses
You are welcome.
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