Handling a Chronically Cheating Man

Yes, this is one of those real-life situations that many married women face day-to-day in their marriages. To say the least, it is frustrating, irritating, and annoying. You will agree with me if you have ever had a conversation with a woman experiencing this. If you are a female reader and you have had this kind of spousal challenge, this horrible occurrence must sound very familiar, I believe.

However, God is able to bring you out of this, it does not matter the weight or the depth of your frustration resulting from this disturbing incident. It is possible if you will be obedient to these twelve steps way-out and religiously execute them.

The scriptures says:

“For by wise counsel you will wage your own war, And in a multitude of counselors there is safety.” Prov. 24:6.

The 12 Salvaging Steps:

1. Never starve him of his sexual needs and pleasures.

Doing that tends to add fuel to the fire of immorality, which is already kindled in the hearts of most cheating men. Unfortunately, I know that most women with such men do the opposite. Someone might ask: what about contracting STDs from a cheating husband in the process of satisfying him sexually? Thank God you know he is cheating on you. What if you are not aware of it while you still make love to each other? In this situation, seek guidance and counseling from a female counselor, but don’t take reprisal and starve him of his sexual rights. It is an unwise thing to do if you truly want to save him from the wicked grip of the seductress.

2. Make the home a place he looks forward to returning.

I mean let your cheating hubby be overwhelmed with the haven of peace he returns to meet despite his horrible sexcapades. It’s like the biblical injunction: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” This could be tough though but it surely works. It is a divine wisdom. However, it will take the meekness of a wife and a praying heart to make the most of this wisdom.

3. This is the best season to show him more respect as the man of the house instead of always confronting him and rubbing his sexual escapades in his face.

I am aware that some folks, especially your relatives, may advise you otherwise. But be wise; it’s your home, not theirs. Virtually all men tend to have a soft spot for wives who choose not to confront them, even when the occasion calls for it. Showing your husband respect especially when he is undeserving of it, is tonic to his ego and such an act breaks the bones of most men even the cheating ones.

4. Never set human monitors to trail him.

For example, using his driver, your friends, or colleagues at work, etc., to track your immoral husband can make him act out more. In other words, your discoveries and evidence against him may worsen the situation rather than heal or correct it. Therefore, learn to tread softly in situations like this. Furthermore, going in this direction can provoke domestic violence from a cheating man.

SEE ALSO, So Close Yet So Far.
(Dealing With Intimacy in Marriage).

5. Never try to uncover the ladies he is cheating with or make an attempt to contact and confront them.

They are not your problem; it’s your husband who is their customer. Confronting his sexual partner makes you more vulnerable in a case like this, and it can lead to an injurious reprisal from his aggrieved girlfriends. Desist from assaulting the women with whom he is cheating. It is a sign of maturity on your part, and it makes you unpredictable to such individuals.

6. Look for every opportunity to be together whenever he is at home or on holiday.

Make sure you use times like your mending and bonding moments. Discuss normal family life issues with him as much as possible, deliberately. Intentionally create a relaxed atmosphere around the home whenever he is in the house for long hours and make him feel loved in spite of your knowledge of his illicit affairs.

7. Ensure you always appear as sweet and appealing as possible to him in the house.

Make yourself his in-house irresistible seductress. Most men in this kind of relationship quagmire have a high preference for sexy and pleasurable looks, so be intentional about it. Be adequately romantic in your dealings with him, especially in the bedroom. Don’t just be available to meet his sexual needs; be innovatively pleasurable too.

8. Use wisdom to find out what delights him about these strange women and see how you can help him fill the gap.

You should be able to give him same experience as his wife without compromising your spiritual and moral values. Make him to always feel safe in your arms and in the home. In fact, you may choose to exceed what his seductress does to keep him away from you if he opens up about his unmet expectations regarding you at all.

9. Don’t hire very attractive and seductive house help, or allow loose female relations to live temporarily in your home.

At least avoid this during this period of recovery. You cannot put fire in your bosom and not be burnt. Do this with an understanding of who your man is when it comes to the opposite sex. This is just a wise thing to do. I remember a house help who was brought to us in the early days of our marriage; upon sighting her, my wife and I knew she was nothing more than a tempter, especially for me. We rejected her without hesitation.

10. Don’t waste your precious time or try to slow down things by searching his phones and other electronic device he stores his information.

If you are serious about your desire to restore his marital loyalty and moral sanity, avoid this provocative act as the wife of a cheating man. This has caused many marriages with extramarital problems to deteriorate rather than heal. Therefore, it does not work.

11. Spend time praying for him and find time to talk to him on the need to change his indecent lifestyle for the sake of the family’s well being, his future and progress at large.

Do this humbly after you have made much prayers for him with regards to his adulterous lifestyle. Prayers have a way of softening his heart; besides, it makes him think right when the issue is brought up between you. Remember this has to be done with much reverence and patience. There is tremendous power in being a praying wife instead of a nagging partner.

12. Be intentional about improving the sexual intimacy experience you share with your husband.

Source knowledge on how to enjoy extraordinary sexual pleasure with your husband. I mean, it should be some discoveries that will enable both of you to experience mutual pleasure and satisfaction almost every time you engage in sex. There are many decent Christian books on sex that address this. Don’t be shy to have discussions about sex with him in the bedroom, even while in the car together or in any secluded place.

By Seyi Igunsabi for M.A.G.I

READ MORE, Good And Regular Sex: A Key To Strong And Healthy Marriages

SEE ALSO, One of the Greatest Scriptures for Building Successful Relationships and Marriage

READ THIS, 20 Things Couples Do That Lead to Spousal Abuse.