Cheating in marriages causes more havoc and disruptions than the seemly pleasurable fun derived from it. The WORD of GOD is clear on the issue of cheating in marriage. The scripture says:

Exodus 20:14
“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

It is wrong, any which way you look at it, or you want to argue or justify it.

Hebrews 13:4
“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”

We were also told that the one that does it is a big fool.

Proverbs 6:32-33
“But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. 33 A wound and dishonour shall he get, and his reproach shall not be wiped away.”

Whether it’s cheating in marriage with your wife or husband or being unfaithful with your fiancé or fiancée, cheating is always a sin.
Just as earlier said, scripture has a lot to say about cheating and its sinful nature.
Some people say, “Well, God doesn’t care if I have another relationship by the side, since my partner and I are just in courtship, and not married.”.
This is false.

Even if it’s not cheating on someone you are already married to, but in a stable relationship with, cheating has to do with deception, and GOD hates falsification of any type … even in business.

Proverbs 11:1
“A false balance is abomination to the LORD:
but a just weight is his delight.”

GOD is serious about adultery. If someone cheats when he or she is not married, what stops the person from cheating when married? That is why some of these issues are foundational, having their roots in old habits or past practices.

SO WHAT ARE THE REASONS WHY SOME PEOPLE CHEAT IN MARRIAGE?

There are many reasons why married people cheat. A large percentage of married couples are impacted by infidelity and despite the high percentage, most people — even those who stray — will say that cheating is wrong.

SO WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?

Factors such as personality disorders, childhood issues, as well as opportunities such as social media and poor boundaries, can increase the chance that one of these reasons can lead to infidelity in marriage. Frustration in the marriage is one common trigger; the cheater may make several attempts to solve problems to no avail. Maybe one of them had a second thought about getting married or was jealous over the attention being given to a new baby, and none of them had the skill set to communicate these feelings.

Perhaps the straying spouse has childhood baggage- neglect, abuse, or a parent who cheated – that interferes with his or her ability to maintain a committed relationship.

Psalm 11:3
“If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?”

THE RIGHTEOUS CAN DO SOMETHING… PRAY AND WORK IT OUT!

Janes 5:16
“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

James 2:26
“For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.”

More often than not, the cheating spouse doesn’t value monogamy, lacks empathy, or simply doesn’t care about the consequences.

SEE THIS, 12 Ways to Handle a Chronic Cheating Man.

It is important at this point to note that regardless of the factors that led to the cheating by a spouse, the responsibility of the cheating is first and foremost that of the cheater.

Matthew 7:3
“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?”

Whether it was a cry for help, an exit strategy, or a means to get revenge after being cheated on themselves, the cheater majorly is responsible for his or her actions. Period. Men are more likely to have affairs than women and tend to often seek more sex or attention.

Men express their love more physically — they often don’t have the perfect “feeling words” for their wives, so sex becomes an important path to connection and intimacy. If men aren’t sexually satisfied (for instance, if their spouse declines sex often), they take that rejection to heart, and it can easily translate to feeling “unloved.”
Men are more likely than women, to cheat due to a feeling of insecurity.

When women cheat, they’re often trying to fill an emotional void.
Women frequently complain of disconnection from a spouse, and of the wish to be desired and cherished. Women are more likely to feel unappreciated or ignored, and seek the emotional intimacy of an extramarital relationship.
Boredom with the marital relationship may lead both men and women to cheat.

There’s a myriad of reasons or causes why men or women may engage in an extramarital liaison, but certain risk factors either with one of the individuals or the marriage as a whole- increasing the odds it will happen.
The general rule is that it takes two to tango, or in this case, to mess up their marriage with an affair, but there are certainly exceptions.

Individual factors that may increase the chance of infidelity include:

1. ADDICTION

Substance abuse issues, whether it”s addiction to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or something else, are clear risk factors. Alcohol, in particular, can reduce inhibitions so that a person who wouldn’t consider having an affair when sober, may cross the line.

2. ATTACHMENT STYLE

Some attachment styles, such as attachment avoidance or attachment insecurity, as well as intimacy disorder, have also been looked at in relationship to a propensity to cheat

Poor self-esteem and insecurity can also raise the risk of an affair as a way to prove worthiness.

READ THIS, 20 Things Couples Do That Lead to Spousal Abuse.

3. CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

Having a history of childhood trauma (such as physical, sexual, or emotional abuse or neglect) is associated with a higher chance that a person may cheat (if he or she has not addressed the trauma and has unresolved issues).

4. EXPOSURE TO INFIDELITY IN CHILDHOOD

Previous experience with cheating can also increase the risk of infidelity. Research found that children who are exposed to a parent having an affair are twice as likely to have an affair themselves.

5. MENTAL ILLNESS

Some mental illnesses, such as bipolar disorder are risk factors for cheating in marriage. This is common with depressive spouses.

6. PREVIOUS CHEATING

The saying “once a ‘cheater’, always a cheater” is more than an old wives’ tale.

A 2017 study was the first to evaluate the credibility of this saying. In this study, those who were involved in an extramarital affair were three times more likely to repeat the behaviour in their next relationship.

7. PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES

Narcissistic traits or personality disorders are associated with a greater likelihood of cheating. With narcissism, an affair may be driven by ego and a sense of entitlement. In addition to being self-centred, people with these disorders often lack empathy, so they don’t appreciate the impact of their actions on their spouses.

8. SEX ADDICTION

Certainly, sex addiction in one partner increases the chance that they will be unsatisfied with the physical aspect of their marriage and look elsewhere.

(To be contd.)

Thank you.

©️ Tokunbo Subuloluwa for M.A.G.I

ALSO READ, Men Only: The Secrets of Bringing Out the Best in Your Wife. (2)

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