Seyi Igunsabi

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If there is just one counsel I could give to any intending or married couple, it would be that they make up their mind to settle for bliss in marriage. Bliss which is another word for peace is so vital in marriage. Without it, progress will be stalled. The absence of peace in homes is just too costly. Strangely, the cost of maintaining peace in the home is nothing in comparison to the consequences of its absence. (2 Thess. 3:16; Psalm. 133:1)

The marriage institution is one of the most powerful entities on earth. Jesus said, whatever the two of you agree on will receive the blessing of God from heaven. But one wonders why in spite of this provision or promise, many marriages still end up in disaster. The reason is that many people are reluctant to pay the price of a blissful marriage and therefore end up with a marriage that is filled with blisters. 

One of the key factors of a successful marriage is peace of mind. You need it to make meaningful progress in your life and in your endeavours. If a spouse is someone you live, sleep and eat with by the demands of marriage, then you don’t want to spend the rest of your life being at loggerheads with each other because it will not give either of you the room to make meaningful progress. To be constantly irritated by your spouse’s presence or deeds can actually slow you down and adversely affect your health. This explains why some people go as far as inflicting injuries on their spouse after being provoked or pushed to the wall.

NEW ARTICLE, One Major Reason Why God Will Not Tell You Whom To Marry.

Frankly speaking, It can be traumatizing when a married person is being regularly tortured by a partner who is supposed be united with him or her in spirit, soul and body. And I think I should unequivocally state it here that most of the couples, if not all, who are having what I refer to as ‘blissful’ or ‘blistered’ marriage are actually living with the consequences of their own choice which means a blissful or blistered marriage invariably begins with an individual’s choice.

And once you make a choice out of the two options of bliss or blister, that choice then goes on to determine the paths you walk in and your experience in marriage. It actually forms the basis for your every action and inaction; reaction and response to everything and continues to shape your behaviour, character and the values you espouse and put up with in your marriage.

There was a case of a young man who was thirty-nine years – he stabbed his prospective wife to death in cold blood, in Lagos, Nigeria, and drank poison to terminate his own life in the same instant. Why? He had suffered some blisters as a result of his fiancée’s actions in a marriage that was yet to be consummated. That is the horror of a blistered relationship-cum marriage.

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I also counseled a lady about two years ago who was married for only three years and has been a divorcée for nine years. Her pathetic story shows she had a real blistered marriage experience. Don’t let me bother you with her details. But I will tell you just this about her- The blister she suffered in that marriage turned her into a living dead. She actually recounted that the fact that she came out of that marriage was more or less a testimony of a dead person who got a second chance to live.

As we got talking about her issue, she mentioned a friend’s case (about to wed) to me who had started trailing a similar path like hers. Believe me, almost everyone who is experiencing a blistered or a blissful marriage all around today- actually chose it (consciously or unconsciously). It is rare that anyone stumbled into it.

I have seen couples who have been married for 23 years, some 32 years and even over 40yrs and their home is a haven of peace. It was their choice.

Let me expatiate on the nature of a blissful and a blistered marriage. 

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What is a Blissful Marriage?

A Blissful marriage is not necessarily a perfect marriage. Bliss does not literally mean perfect peace and joy, instead it is peace in spite of storms and necessary challenges of life and marriage.

A blissful marriage is not a bed of roses where everything is smooth and easy. No. But if anyone desires that kind of marriage, it is okay and welcome but they may have to wait till we get to Heaven at the marriage super of the Lamb with His bride—the church, not marriage in this world. A marriage of bliss is not entirely void of offenses or misunderstandings.
The truth is peace cannot be appreciated in the absence of tendencies for crisis. John 14:27. In other words the value of peace comes alive in times of trouble and storms. 

We don’t strive for peace unless there is a likelihood of crisis or falling apart.
So a blissful marriage can emerge out of every day normal and unique marital challenges every purpose driven couple has to face; inasmuch as the couple themselves understand the value of peace in marriage and they are willing to sacrifice for it.

Watch out for the concluding part of this thought provoking piece. Thank you.

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