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'30 Questions You Must Ask Before Marriage'- is an exposè on the parameters you must watch out for before choosing a life partner and tying the knots with anyone. The…
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Compatibility and marriage as God intended is a very slippery and sensitive marriage matter that should not be shoved aside on the journey to marriage.

What is Compatibility?
The marriage manual, in the third chapter of the book of Amos and the third verse, gave the most timeless and succinct definition of compatibility in terms of relationships even those that lead to marriage.
It says: ” Can two WALK together except they are AGREED? Amos 3:3 (NKJV).
“Do two people walk hand in hand if they aren’t going to the same place?” Amos 3:3 (The Message Bible).
Considering the scripture above, you will agree with me that: “Marrying a person who agrees with your future and divine destiny is far more important than just marrying someone whom you admire in terms of personality, position, family background, body shape, dress style, career attraction, educational status, material possessions or nationality.”
Statistics and true-life stories of many failed marriages and broken homes show that more than half of such ill-conceived unions fail due to all or most of those aforementioned parameters people employ in the guise of compatibility.
If the dictionary definitions are anything to go by – To be compatible means to exist and perform in harmonious or agreeable combination. It further States ‘Compatibility’ means that you get along with somebody very well,” or “a state in which two things can exist or occur together without problems or conflict.”
Vikki Ziegler, a relationship expert and author of The Pre-Marital Planner, said … “Basically, being in a compatible relationship means that you work well together, enjoy each other’s company and have a good time.”
Of course, this confirms the same timeless definition from the Word of God on the same subject of discussion as written in Amos 3:3.
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Furthermore, I thought about a message that Microsoft office usually show to me when I copy a document from a higher version and I try to open it with a lower version, it tells me these versions are not COMPATIBLE, so it can not be viewed. Then it goes further to warn me that I may lose some part of the data or existing format if I insist on my action. I am sure some of you know what I am talking about. That is what is referred to as software compatibility.
So compatibility even in this sense means- there is no total or mutual agreement between these versions of MS document due to upgrade or variation of versions.
Candidly, this is the true practical meaning of compatibility, yet I hear singles in relationships refer to compatibility as if it’s all about personality and temperaments.
And many have gotten married with this notion only to discover that they misinterpreted the issue of compatibility to their hurt and disappointment.
Essentially, because compatibility focuses on destiny and purpose alignment of an intending couple than other ephemeral things, divine direction still plays a major role in the whole process.
God remains the Destiny Maker and our greatest Destiny Helper, so to make the right choice of a destiny partner you are still required to follow His instructions more than your emotions and calculations.
This is what true compatibility is all about. It is getting married according to God’s will while aligning with one who will help you maximize your destiny despite their seemingly present physical constraints.
From the above definitions and succinct expressions on the subject of compatibility and marital relationships, I have deduced the following:
It can also affect your career goal, marriage, ministry, purpose and everything ‘affectable’, hence the need to understand the basics.
In other words, if you don’t marry a person you can dwell with in mutual understanding all your marital life- your productivity and performance may be jeopardised in whatever area.
2. When you marry a person you’re not compatible with there is bound to be some forms of losses.
Do you remember the Microsoft program compatibility I spoke about earlier? This is exactly the case.
It could be loss of personal inner peace, absence of a good understanding of one’s partner, loss of resources; forfeiture of ministry, career dream, a blissful home, precious relationship with others and so on- just because of the person one married is always in conflict with one’s life goal and purpose.
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This has been the story of losses many couples had had to tell because they are incompatible with their life partner despite the availability of certain material or physical benefits.
3. Marrying a person you’re not compatible with, will not make things work out for you as God intended; because you have stepped out the real deal.
The use of wrong parameters to choose a lifelong mate has been the undoing of too many couples today. So their progress is forestalled by the fact that they are married to a person they find very difficult to understand or relate with. And for the majority, this goes on for decades in the marriage and at times it lasts throughout the lifespan of their spousal term.
I have met couples who have been married for more than ten years, yet they do not understand each other at all and it’s costing them both corporate family progress and personal effectiveness. It’s a pity. This is a compatibility issue harming this group of couples.
4. Compatibility between the couple must not only be a mixable combination but an agreeable combination.
For instance, you can mix detergent with palm wine but you and I know it will not make a harmonious (agreeable) combination. They are not friendly at all.
That’s why some couples find it very difficult to be friends ( there are no compatible grounds in the affair).
The interesting thing is some husbands and wives are like detergent and palm wine. It’s not only a disagreeable combination but a bad mix.
But detergent with water, oh, it’s time for action – it’s time to deal with dirt.
Right compatibility energises any couple to get things done together, confront situations with a conquering spirit and live at their best.
So don’t wink at the issue of compatibility.
©️ MAGI
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The importance of fulfilling and regular sex in nurturing good and healthy marriages cannot be overemphasized. Sexual intimacy is a key to marital sanity.

The role of sex in a marriage covenant is so strong, and it was intentionally ordained by God. Sex, though marginal in terms of what makes or mars a marriage is still intrinsically vital to the health and sustainability of every conjugal union.
Sex is another idea of God meant to solidify marriage covenants and to also keep them very effective. Sex is more than just fun in a marriage. Truly, there is a fun side to it, talking about how two sexual partners (of course, a husband and a wife) enjoy sexual pleasure and foreplay; yet it goes beyond this essentially.
Sex is the highest physical binding force between two people in this world. But it is reserved for only married folks by the originator’s design for an erratic union such as this. Like all other covenants, sex is the seal, symbol, and strength of a marriage blood covenant. It is vital to note that the covenant nature of sex in marriage is what makes its frequent involvement sacrosanct. Covenants, either good or evil remain active and relevant to the parties as long as the terms are renewed at the set time. And virtually all covenants have a renewable nature. I understood that the terms that support the renewal of covenants are as strong as the initial covenant vows themselves.
“A good and regular sex is not just for the fun or pleasure therein, it is a covenant renewal act that comes with immense spiritual, natural and emotional benefits.”
Covenants are completely different from contracts. Covenants are delicate, deeper and more demanding than mere contracts. For example, covenants are more spiritual and emotional whereas contracts are more physical and technical. It is, for this reason, that covenant partners in all forms of covenant pay dearly for not keeping to the terms of the covenant. And often than not, terms of the covenant are periodic and time-bound.
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To the best of my knowledge, I know sex is perhaps the only platform for the renewal of the marriage covenant among couples as established by God. Provisions of comfort for the family and good schools for the children does not suffice. Marriage covenant can not be renewed by the number of cars in your family garage or a wardrobe full of clothes. All these are good but they are not good enough to replace good and regular sex- the medium for the renewal of marriage covenant between a man and a woman.

From numerous counselling sessions I have had, it is obvious that quite many couples take frequent sex for granted in their conjugal relationship. But that is not marriage and sex life as God intended married people. Sex is that part of a marriage covenant that must be attended to with a purposeful heart because of the role it plays in the covenant (being the renewal platform). There is no covenant of any kind that remains valid and strong without some renewal ritual rites, and the marriage covenant is not excused.
“I know sex is perhaps the only platform for the renewal of the marriage covenant among couples as established by God.”
So when couples use abstinence from sex as a punitive tool or a bait towards their spouse, they are missing out a great deal in this particular covenant, unknown to them. The covenant role of sex in a marriage is too strong for any couple to think or behave as if sex is not a big deal in the union.
Good and regular sex in a marital relationship is not supposed to be negotiated for anything, not even for intense spousal misunderstandings or fatigue.
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But only wise and knowledgeable couples understand this intrinsic role of sex in the institution of marriage as God intended.
Perhaps that is why God, through the Apostle Paul, made it abundantly clear that couples should not deprive or deny each other of sex for just any funny reason. “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. DO NOT DEPRIVE ONE ANOTHER EXCEPT WITH CONSENT FOR A TIME, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinth. 7;2-5.
All the time when people renew evil (occulitc) and other similar human covenants through a prescribed medium, they don’t see with physical eyes what goes in the spirit realm yet they believe in what they do at that instance. They believe that spirits come to attend to them after such spirits have been provoked or beckoned on by the sacrifice or covenant practice. What happens in marriage covenant when couples engage sex is no different.
Going by the nature of covenants, it is normal to say when legally married couples have sex some spirits are invoked in the marriage ambience for the good and prosperity of the union. And as much as this is done, these spirits are present to assist a couple do well coupled with the engagement of other principles of marriage success. I believe from experience that regular sexual intercourse invokes the spirits of oneness, peace, progress, empathy, goodness, love, kindness, sacrifice, commitment and so on.
“Virtually all the troubled couples I have counselled due to marital conflicts have the history of irregular and scarcity of sex in their union.”
Have you wondered why the word of God encourged couples to indulge in much foreplay which leads to sexual activity? “As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And ALWAYS be enraptured with her love.” (Prov. 5:19). The word of God further specified that Christian couples are only allowed to take a SHORT BREAK from sexual intercourse ONLY on the ground of spiritual devotion to prayer and fasting. And they must both agree on it. “Do not deprive one another except with CONSENT FOR A TIME, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinth. 5:7.
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Virtually all the troubled couples I have counselled due to marital conflicts have the history of irregular and scarcity of sex in their union. Some stay as long as three to six months without sexual intercourse. This is dangerous to the marriage covenant and its efficacy. Unfortunately, many couples don’t take recognisance of this anti-marriage attitude which has cost majority a sound and good marriage. In some instances, this poor attitude towards this sexual covenant practice has even hampered some couples from leading a good life and fulfilling their destiny.
“Besides, according to the findings of medical practitioners, psychologists and sex therapists, there are other positive functions that consistent sexual activity serves in the bodies and minds of couples.”
Regular copulation between a couple is health and strength to their marriage and home; because it is the main means for renewing the marriage blood covenant. And of course, this frequent sexual and renewal activity tends to reactivate and invigorate the marital relationship in a way that is required to start a healthy marriage and family life.
In conclusion, for clarity, I suggest every couple that wants to benefit from the supernatural and natural effect of the glory of sex in the marriage should engage in sexual intercourse at least ONCE every ten days. Once they live together in the same town (house) and there is no ongoing ‘dry’ fasting and prayer, good and enjoyable sex should happen at least once in every seven to ten days.
For a couple who have more time and are self-employed, the frequency could be higher with them. Anything short of this may impact negatively on the health status of a couple and their home.
Remember, good and regular sex is not just for the fun or pleasure therein, it is a covenant renewal act that comes with immense spiritual, natural and emotional benefits. And these gains translate into many other good things in a couple’s life. Besides, according to the findings of medical practitioners, psychologists and sex therapists, there are other positive functions that consistent sexual activity serves in the bodies and minds of couples.
©️ MAGI
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