By Seyi Igunsabi.

1. TRUE LOVE IS REAL

True love is not a faceless virtue. It’s usually identifiable by those who know it and possess it. True love is not abstract in its nature, as many think. It is concrete, evidential, and practical. John 3:16, Rom. 5:8, John 11:35 & 36.

2. TRUE LOVE IS INTEGRAL

That is, it holds everything together and brings out the beauty of every great and good act, including love relationships. So whatever a man does that is termed good and great must be done in the spirit of love. If you want to be truly great in anything (including your relationships), be motivated by love. 1 Corinth 13:1 & 2.

3. TRUE LOVE IS AN INVESTMENT

Love has its own price. True love requires that you put your entire being into whatever you enjoy doing and with whom your heart is. If you do not put all your efforts and heart into it in order to get the best result possible, love says: Don’t even start. “Where a man’s treasure is, there his heart will be also.” 1 Corinthians 13:3; Matthew 6:21.

4. TRUE LOVE HOLDS ON

It never gives up. It is patient. Please listen to me: if you can’t hold on, you cannot love. Growing up, I saw this virtue in my parents, especially in my mother of blessed memory. This vital understanding they both had about love determined their togetherness until my mother died after 39 years of marriage. Love is a virtue that makes you hold on; it’s very paramount to bringing out the best in the worst situations and imperfect relationships. 1 Corinthians 14:4.

5. TRUE LOVE IS SELFLESS

It considers others as much as it does oneself. It is mutual in receiving and giving, which is the essence of true love. Having the interests of others at heart is one thing that makes true love fascinating and worth the while. True love promotes mutual joy, peace, and prosperity for the parties in a conjugal/love relationship. 1 Corinthians 13:4; John 15:13.

6. TRUE LOVE IS SACRIFICIAL

True love can be quite expensive sometimes, but lust is even more expensive. Samson and Amnon bore witness to this. Additionally, Reuben lost a precious covenant father’s blessing due to lust. Those who are not ready to make sacrifices for what they love or whom they choose to love may seem not to mean business when it comes to loving in the true way.

Couples who understand this would not mind sacrificing for each other again and again beside their children. I thank God for blessing me with a wife who sacrifices a lot for me and my children. The truth is that there is no real love that is not rooted in sacrifice. John 3:16.

7. TRUE LOVE IS CONTENT.

True love is not covetous. It doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. And because it’s content, it does not envy others, even its partner. Contentment is a symbol of a heart that is full of love. 1 Corinthians 13:4.

8. TRUE LOVE IS FERTILIZED BY HUMILITY

That is why it does not insist on its own. True love listens to others as much as it wants to be heard, too. It is teachable and easily takes correction. It is not rude because pride is synonymous with insolence. 1 Corinth. 13:5.

9. LOVE IS FORGIVING

Hence, it does not keep a record of wrongdoings, nor does it sweep hurts under the carpet. It forgives and forgets the offense; thereafter, it begins to relate as if there were no offense in the first place. It does not repay evil for evil. Also, it often overlooks an offense. It does not pick on wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:5.

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10. TRUE LOVE DOES NOT HARBOUR FEAR

Love does not make you fear or doubt if your partner has your best interest at heart. True love thrives by faith and gives no room for fear. It is trustworthy. It believes the best about its partner even in circumstances when it seems to be difficult to do so. Just like Jesus died for us while we were yet sinners. 1 John 4:18

11. TRUE LOVE DOES NOT TORMENT

Too many people are under torment in their love relationships and marriages these days; this does not in any form suggest true love. True love allows one to be oneself without any fear or intimidation from one’s partner. To a great extent, it encourages freedom of speech and expression between the two parties void of any offensive notion. I John 4:18.

12. TRUE LOVE DOES NO HARM HIS NEIGHBOUR

You can not do harm to a person you really love. You will not even tell lies to them on any grounds. It is practically impossible to lie to anyone you love. You will not get violent with them or give a partner in love scars and wounds as a memorial. Rom. 13:10. 

13. TRUE LOVE TRANSCENDS EMOTIONAL FEELINGS

True love has no feelings. You may read through- 1 Corinth. 13:1-7. Those who understand true love and walk in it are hardly moved by feelings. What stirs up true love is knowledge and a purpose-driven heart.

That was why God gave up His only Son for the purpose of man’s salvation. If love was a matter of feelings, God would not have given up Jesus for mankind. But He did it on purpose. 

14. TRUE LOVE HAS ITS ROOT IN GOD

If you are not rooted in God, forget claiming that you have true love- it’s just simply impossible. Have you forgotten God is Love Personified? 1 John 4:7,8,16. 

That why I tell singles that they should never marry a person who is not spiritual and godly minded.

True love concentrates on God, it’s rooted in God and revolves around God. So how would you exhibit true love without a sound relationship with God? 1 John 4:7 & 8.

15. TRUE LOVE TRUSTS

It believes all things. Love does not give room for doubt or suspicion. It believes what God says about love and how He has demonstrated it to us. True love is open and hides nothing from its own. Because of trustworthiness, true love keeps one’s conscience alive. 1 Corinth 13:7.

16. TRUE LOVE DOES NOT LOSE TEMPER ABRUPTLY

So it is not reckless. It does not throw off the handle. I know a woman who broke her husband’s laptop and destroyed some other valuables because of anger.

I once met another young lady who said her problem is anger. And when she is angry she must see blood before she calms down.

Of course, you know, some couples have stabbed their partners to death out of intense anger. This is fast becoming the norm over time.

True love does not get angry and sin thereby. 1 Corinth. 13:5.

17. TRUE LOVE IS SYNONYMOUS WITH THE TRUTH

Just think about it. It will amaze you. Liars, hypocrites and deceivers can never end up as true lovers. Don’t be deceived.

Like I aforementioned, you can not love somebody and tell lies to the person or about the person. Corinth. 13:6

18. TRUE LOVE DOES NOT TAKE PRIDE IN THE FALL OF OTHERS

Do you know there are people who wished their love partner fails or falls? I have met at least two of such wives. True love does not rejoice over the predicament of others. There are people who just wished that their partners would lose their jobs or means of livelihood?. What a ‘love affair’; yet they sleep on the same bed.

So you see, two persons can be living together yet there is no true love between them. 1 Corinth 13:6.

19. TRUE LOVE IS ATTRACTIVE

It’s able to draw to itself fellow true lovers. It does not seek attention but rather draws the attention of inherent true lovers. So those who nurture it tend to easily spot those who also have it.

20. TRUE LOVE TAKES TIME.

That is it takes time to develop true love. It does not just grow out of the blues. So if you want to be true love, you need to take your time to learn how to do the needful. True love is processed and that takes time. Remember every good thing takes its time. Eccl. 3:1.

Thank you.

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