Doing little things for your spouse - Marriage as God Intended

Introduction:

Doing little things for your spouse is all you need to do often and you’d soon find out that nothing else matters like it. Moreso, the effect of this gesture on your spousal life can be far-reaching than you could ever imagine. I am going to take the time to explain, just come along with me. Until you’ve learnt to do little things for your spouse, the truth is – you are not giving attention to details and this could impact negatively on your marital union.

There are some men and women who believe they are doing so much (big things) for their spouses but seem not to be getting the desired results. Hence they wonder why their marriage is frustrating and stressful despite the ‘big things’ they are bringing to the table. Of course, it is welcome to do things that are obviously and naturally impressive to one’s spouse, but I have discovered from experience that the little things tend to linger more in the memory one’s spouse than the naturally loud accomplishments.

I must be frank with you- more often than not it’s not those big and loud things that make the marriage work and robust, I tell you the truth- it is in the little things. It’s in the details. Have you imagined how tiny some nuts that hold big machines together are, remove those little nuts and see how those engines will begin to fall apart, malfunction and even lose shape? Just like those little nuts holding a big machine together, so do the little things our spouses expect from us make the big things meaningful.

And like I once read “if you take care of the little things, the big things take care of themselves”

So, you don’t have to wait for opportunities to do big things for your spouse, rather seize the occasions available to do little things first- if you want them to place a high premium on the marital relationship. Looking forward to the opportunity to do great things for your spouse is welcome and fantastic but the truth is- the opportunity will hardly come in many years from now if you have not formed the habit of doing little things for him or her at opportune times. Jesus in His teachings made this very clear that doing little things well, prepares and positions us to do bigger things accordingly.

Luke 19:17- “And he said to him, Well done, good servant; because you were faithful in a very little, have authority over ten cities.”

Luke 16:10 “He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much, and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much.”
“Jesus went on to make these comments: If you’re honest in small things, you’ll be honest in big things;” Luke 16:10 | MSG
This is the Master’s submission, the One who made the marriage. And He is the wisdom of life. This principle of little things works in every sphere of life and marriage is not exempted. There is hardly any business empire in the world or any enviable church/ministry that did not pass the test of little beginnings (things).
Believe me, one of the secrets to the robust marriage many couples are enjoying today is founded on this subject: “Doing little things for your spouse”.

For example, talking about my wife and me- because of the little things we do for each other over the years, our intimacy and confidence in each other’s are being strengthened increasingly. Not only that, it makes both of us excited about each other’s future, knowing that if we can do these little things for each other now even when it is not convenient, then we will do more wonderful things when things get a little more convenient.

What Does Doing Little Things For Your Spouse Mean?

1. It is all about minding details about your spouse.

And this is very important to maintain a healthy and thriving marital life. Minding details about your spouse will do for you what millions of dollars and a room full of goodies will not do for you. Those who don’t mind details end up being detained in relationships, especially marriage. If only we have developed the habit of minding each other’s details, many of us, couples, would have our way easily with our spouses often, instead of the friction we create consciously or unconsciously due to the absence of the knowledge of spousal details.

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For example, if you take a look at a standing fan you will discover there are little components- the screws, that if not for them- all the big parts will be helpless and almost useless to you. Details! The little things at times make the biggest counts. I can tell you this because of my experience as a married man. Listen, if you don’t learn to do little things for your spouse, you may leave them helpless while they become irritated, angry and moody. Do you want your marriage to work with little or no stress? Then be mindful of details about your spouse’s personal life, their mood, career, work, business life, kingdom interests, personal relationship with God and life goals.

Little things make up details. What kind of fruits does she like? Does he like a sunshade or face cap? Look for money and buy a very good sunshade or face cap for him. Maybe she likes chocolate, a particular dress or certain fragrances, you need to know these details about your spouse (vice versa), if you both want to win in that marriage and make good fun of it.

2) Doing little things for your spouse also connotes showing understanding in your spousal life as much as you can.

No couple buys into this that would not have a better and more fulfilling marriage or home to show for it. This is certainly a relationship-building block for a peaceful and progressive union. Do you know there are little things you do for your spouse that count much more in their eyes than you think? It is wisdom to find out about such gestures that leave lasting impressions on your spouse’s mind and respond to them as occasion serves you.

3. Doing little things for spouse also suggests doing small things that show you are not taking them for granted.

That your spouse rises to certain tasks or obligations in the marriage and home affairs is not a deed you should take them for granted. Marital common sense suggests that you learn to appreciate such gestures of your spouse verbally or in kind. This is part of the little things you would do to prove to your partner that you are not taking him or her for granted. It’s disturbing that majority of couples wink at such little gestures yet they count significantly.

For example, if your wife cooks well and enjoys cooking all the time and you enjoy her food, then encourage her. Sometimes you could just verbally tell her how sweet and palatable her dishes are. I do this intentionally to my wife from time to time. I may even call her hours later or the following day while she is in the office to tell her I enjoyed very well a certain meal she served me. Great husbands have learnt the importance of appreciating their wives (verbally & in-kind) for a nice and tantalising meal. Doing laundry (even with a washing machine), besides assisting in the running of the home expenses, all deserve appreciation. If the situation is otherwise, she remains your lawful wife; you may not be able to do anything about it.

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Similarly, good wives ought to say ‘thank you’ to their hubbies when they meet up with basic family obligations. For instance, payment of children schools fees, even the change of the bulb in the kitchen, passage or study. Mind you if they don’t, heaven will not fall.

Those little appreciations are a tonic that keeps the union strong and healthy.

4. It means springing little surprises on your spouse occasionally.

Believe it or not, these things inject life into your marriage and home at large. I started practising this during our courtship about twenty years ago. In marriage, after sixteen years, I still feel good springing surprises on my delectable wife. These kinds of pleasant surprises have a way of deepening marital relationships and the intimacy of a couple. Many times, my wife buys me things I really love without discussing them and I just get home and meet them arranged on the bed. The feelings this gesture leaves with me are so soothing and lasting that I seek an opportunity to reciprocate it.

The things you engage to spring surprises don’t have to be capital intensive or burdensome to do. Just a little surprise that wouldn’t even cost much is enough to fulfil this purpose.

5) Lastly, it means going the extra mile to make your spouse happy and fulfilled as much as you can.

This spousal gesture can not be overemphasized. Occasionally situations will arise that would stretch you to do things outside the norm or the expected that would make your spouse happy and be pleased with you. Go ahead and give it your best shot, your partner deserves it even much more. Remember when your spouse is happy you are happy. Happy spouses are peaceful and progressive couples.

This is where sacrifices and uncommon gestures that connote commitment to the union come in. I speak from experience, there is no one couple on the globe that do the aforementioned little things for each other that will fail in marriage. Rather, they stand the chance to build together a robust marriage-cum-family.

Seyi Igunsabi-Perez
(Family Life Practitioner, Relationship Manager, Marriage Counsellor & Seminar Facilitator)

☎️ 0701 020 0027, 0803 308 1837
📩 seyiigun4christ@gmail.com
magism@marriageasGodintended.com
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©️ M.A.G.I

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