By Seyi Igunsabi-Perez

Over the years, I have had the privilege of counseling individuals who tend to deliberately set themselves against their spouses’ success and progress just to register their grievances. But unknown to them, the danger of antagonizing one’s spouse is suicidal in its effects in every sense.

The idea of marriage as God intended does not give the slightest opportunity to couples to condescend to work against each other for whatever reason. Marriage is a union of two that blossoms and thrives with the spirit of togetherness and unity. The fact that a couple is intrinsically one by the fusion of marriage makes it practically impossible for them to stand against each other without facing dire consequences, individually and collectively. This implicating marital attitude is perhaps responsible for most couples’ stagnation and non-progressive lifestyle.

Couples who try to get back at one another in the home or in marriage whenever there are misunderstandings and grievances reduce their sacred union to a mere political group and an association of rivals. Marriage begins to go wrong once you start thinking or seeing your partner as a rival. This is one of the tricks of the enemy that are being marshaled against man and marriage that many couples are oblivious to. The keen submission of the Greatest Teacher of all times comes to mind- “A house divided against itself can not stand.”

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You can’t be working, saying and doing things against your spouse and still desire a good and progressive marriage. How will that be? The stagnation and setbacks many couples suffer today are owed to this unhealthy and wild attitude of antagonising their spouses. Without any doubt, offenses and misunderstandings abound in virtually all relationships including marriage. However, if we are deliberate about maximizing our marital relationships we would learn how to disagree to agree without standing against each other.

There are lots of people who are far below where they are meant to be in life, business, career pursuit, spiritual ministry work, material well-being and prosperity, and destiny-wise, just because of this maltreatment they give to their spouses in this regard. Many business empires have crumbled, great and enviable dreams have sunk in the waters of spousal opposition and great potentials lay waste because the victims were always antagonized by their spouses. The truth is that you can be objective with your spouse without antagonizing him or her, in situations where it is clear that your spouse has fallen short of expectations even by you.

In Ephesians 5:28
“So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.”

This invariably means that a man who hates and works against his wife is working against himself and vice-versa. In fact, he is even the worst enemy of himself and all he is doing, not some external evil forces.

Unfortunately, so many men indulge in these self-inflicted practices to the detriment of their wife’s progress and family growth at large. Of course, some women do too, making their husband’s life miserable while they are also clothed with wretchedness. Some men should be walking on gold but are now covered in heavy dust of shame and regrets because they can not stand the sight of a progressive and successful wife, and mother.

The scriptures say clearly: “Two are better than one …”. Eccl. 4:9

A husband and wife are the best and most powerful two individuals that can work for each other’s progress, welfare, and fulfillment in this life than any other duo on earth. Yet some couples do otherwise and expect they will be lucky enough to still live life at its best and enjoy marriage; no, it won’t happen. It is the height of foolishness and thoughtlessness for any married person to intentionally take a position against his or her spouse out of anger or revenge.

All well-meaning and progressive couples it is high time we began to live as wise by supporting and defending our spouse’s goals, visions, projects, and righteous causes.

Contact: 0701 020 0027, 0803 308 1837

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