Love is not marriage
One of the biggest and most common marital misconceptions that many singles and married people have is seeing love as a synonym for marriage. Love is not marriage; love is…
When Love Doesn’t Make Sense
The indices of senseless love are always obvious to everyone who cares to understand the meaning of true love and seeks one.
These days many people, most especially the youngsters, seem to be taking the concept of real love for granted and out of context. Little wonder why many marriages and relationships have also become grounded in the relationship world. Love is more than emotions; however, it is disturbing that majority of love birds all over the streets are not admitting to this. And this is preventing them from having valuable and fulfilling relationships-cum-marriages.
Love is more of an attitude than some romantic feelings and emotional fantasies. It is a decision based on knowledge and a conviction born out of a commitment to love in truth and with knowledge.
We are in a time when both the married and the unmarried see marriage as a nightmare. To some, the talk of marriage or the idea of getting married is like trespassing in a danger zone. What a misnomer! Whereas marriage is a fantastic idea that God came up with for the betterment and fulfillment of mankind. By divine design, marriage is supposed to be a leverage for all people who are given to marriage to enable them to maximize their destiny. I must point out here that: love is not marriage; love is only an aspect of the marriage covenant practice.
The problem with several young people going into relationships nowadays is that they seem to have overblown the concept of love as it relates to marriage. Hence, we see them misrepresenting love in various ways and even try to build a lifelong union on such misleading notions about love. Furthermore, they are caught in what I call emotional trap, which they interpret as love. The resultant effect is that these intending couples end up as victims of wrong and weird decisions about their love life and causalities of a deceitful love affair.
All in the name of love, some folks find themselves in relationships that are directionless, senseless and destructive to their destiny. Also, this love thing has made a lot of them go into relationships that would culminate in marriage that they should not have any business with in the first place.
We are in days when many singles and married are trapped in relationships and marriages that are demeaning to their lives. Relationships that are shameful and discrediting to them and their life dreams. And often than not, it is because they refused to learn what they ought to know or they are not applying the relevant knowledge at their disposal, especially as it relates to the ideology of true love.
Prov. 19:2
“Also it is not good for a soul to be without knowledge , And he sins who hastens with his feet.”
The truth is, most of the headaches, broken hearts and hurting experiences that many people suffer in their love relationships are avoidable. But many walked into it because of their wanton passion and unguided step, besides ignorance of mind they have towards the truths about marriage matters.
I wonder why someone will still be seeking advice over a love that does not make sense from all indications. Such Individuals often than not are nothing but lovesick. You see, when people are lovesick or infatuated, they don’t think straight. I can say with all authority that people who equate being lovesick with true love are often the victims of love that is senseless and hurtful. There are instances when the love affair going on between two persons does not make sense at all, due to the fact that their actions and reactions, attitudes and characters, are counterproductive to what true love represents. Yet some individuals still go ahead to peak in that relationship (that is marry), only for them to regret it afterwards.
When love doesn’t make sense, one of the sensible things to do is not to linger around it, if you do, it will overwhelm you and destroy your chance for a sensible and true love experience. Besides, your chance for glorious marital journey and fulfilling experience may be lost forever to carnal love. So when love doesn’t make sense, it is wisdom to escape for your life and marriage.
Below Are Some instances You Should Be Aware Of That Reveal Clearly Love Relationships That Do Not Make Sense In Terms of Building Robust and Fulfilling Relationships That Would Last.
HAVE YOU READ, 10 RELIABLE SIGNS THAT SHOW HE LOVES YOU!
1. Any love that can not be trusted can not make sense in the end.
Falling in love in with someone you do not trust is leading yourself into a serious emotional trap. Why share your life, your heart , your passion and even your body with someone you cannot vouch for or that doesn’t trust you completely? Do you want to to kill yourself before your time. This reminds me of the sad story of the Lekki guy in Lagos, Nigeria, who killed his fiancée and then poisoned himself in the same instance. At the base of their problem was trust. Any love relationship that is questionable on the ground of trust can destroy you, cut short your destiny and wreck your life dreams. Take note! It doesn’t make any sense to be neck deep with such a person maritally and emotionally.
1 Corinth. 13:7- says “love believes all things”. Love trusts. And this trust must cut across. Don’t be afraid to keep yourself if you are trustworthy or you are someone that cherish trust, soon or later you will meet a person like you. If you can not close your two eyes as touching his or commitment to you, look well before you peak in that love affair.
2. Rebound love hardly makes sense.
This is a situation whereby someone who has just jilted a friend or was jilted, decides to jump on another love Chariot to make him or her feel loved again just to spite the ‘ex’. And this usually happens almost immediately after they broke away from their ex. Watch it, such love don’t end well. I know a few persons who fell into this kind of love and they regretted it sorely. Majority do suffer in this kind of love world. There was a case I handled recently. A sister, a Christian worker, had been going out with a brother for about two, three years, then something went wrong and they both parted ways. And just almost immediately, I don’t think it was up to six months, she started dating another brother in the same church just to spite her ex. But in less than a year that relationship went sour too and this time around the sister left with a serious scar which she didn’t sustain in the first relationship.
Be wary of those who seek rebound all in the name love. Such love don’t end well and you can hardly make any sense out of it in the long run.
3. If you have to betray a friend or your spouse in the name of a newly found love, that is a stupid and wicked love, it will boomerang in the end.
I advise you flee such love. Never fall in love with your close friend’s date if they did not part in peace and without scar in either of them. That kind of love doesn’t make sense in the end. It’s a love tainted with betrayal. This was the kind of love that Portiphar’s wife tried to establish with Joseph, her house-boy. But he was wise to turn it down without hesitation. Betrayal love will be betrayed in the end, love wisely.
4. Love that can not tell the truth or hear the truth does not make sense for a union like marriage.
If you are in love with someone you can not tell the truth about their unruly behaviours and about what God expects from them, then that love will backfire soon or later. Moreover, any prospect or partner you can not talk to about the unfriendly and unloving actions he or she puts up will land you in regrettable affair. Think deep before you marry him or her if you are single. Love rejoices in and embraces truth. 1 Corinth. 13:6.
READ ALSO, 8 Proven Ways To Bring Out The Best In Your Marriage And Relationship
5. Forceful Love does not make sense.
Forcing oneself on a prospect is an obvious of a kind of love that will not lead anywhere reasonable given obvious reasons. This was the forceful affection Amnon had towards Tamar, his half-sister. It was devastating to him in the end.
When there is no good and decent reason to enter into a love affair with a person but you continue with such a person, that is forceful love. I have seen this played out among a few intending couples that I have had the privilege to counsel. Would you believe some ladies force love on some guys, even brothers in the church, by seducing them to make love to them and become pregnant in the process? Pathetically, some ‘innocent’ but carefree brothers (guys) have been caught in this net. Beware!
6. Any love that dwells critically on what you have or don’t have is an immaterial/irrelevant love. Avoid it.
Material status is often immaterial when we talk about a true and sensible love affair. Be careful! True Love is first of the heart before anything else. True love is immaterial but flourishes with gifts and comfort over time. However, the presence or absence of physical possessions can not be used to measure a sound and promising love relationship. We ought to place priority on marrying people for who they are and not for what they have.
7. When the person you want to marry or you are in love with drags his or her feet before he or she meets the people that matter in your life, then you know that you are in a love affair that may not make sense in the end.
Those who have been part of your life must not be treated like Scaffolds because of your newly found love; it’s always regrettable to do such. Be warned! Any lover that is wary to meet the people that have been part of your life is a suspect and may have skeleton in the cupboard. Prospects who have zero regards for your biological and spiritual parents and other important persons in your life will end up witch-hunting you in that marriage. Then you will not have who to cry to or call on when your spouse is in the wrong. And soon you will realize you have been caught in a wrong and senseless love.
© MAGI
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MASTURBATION: Evil, Hellish,Wrecking and Desecrating
Masturbation is hellish and self-destructive to all its victims, so be wary of this self-help, but debasing, desecrating, and immoral practice.
To say masturbation is hellish is not to scare its victims nor an exaggerated description of this immoral and despicable act.
Let me begin by saying that sexuality is an integral part of our existence as humans. That’s how God made it, and we cannot do anything to change it. Regardless of our religious inclinations and biases, sexual feelings are universal and remain intact, just like our breath and heartbeat. These things do not change as long as we are human.
Please understand that Christianity does not frown upon sexuality, nor does it teach people to do so. Our sexual urges are as much a drive as hunger, which we are required to satisfy from time to time. That we have to eat to quell hunger pangs, however, does not mean that we can swallow just anything, like paper or sand. In the same vein, there is more to life than merely satisfying our sexual urges in whatever way we deem fit. Our primary purpose is to satisfy God rather than indulge in sexual escapades in an inappropriate manner.
Joseph understood this quite well, and it enhanced the fulfillment of his destiny while he was in Egypt. Samson, on the other hand, took this for granted and made a shipwreck of his earthly assignment. Amnon, also the firstborn child of the renowned King David, lost control over his sexuality and paid with his life in the end. Similarly, many young people and church folks have found themselves in this kind of quagmire because they lack the understanding of how to control their sexuality. Unfortunately, many have veered off their destiny path for a beggarly life.
SEE THIS ALSO, 15 GUYS & LADIES YOU MUST NEVER SAY “YES I DO” TO.
One of those unsavoury sexual behaviours that is making the rounds and setting back many young people today is Masturbation.
To say masturbation is hellish and desecrating means it is a horrible, demonic, despicable and an abominable thing in the sight of God.
Without prejudice to free moral persons and thinkers, anyone who masturbates offends the Supreme Being we call God who superintends creation and everything in it including you.
It is sad to note that this generation, like past ones has tried in their wits to ‘legalise’ the abominable act of masturbation, when God clearly frowns at it. It is clearly an act that desecrates our bodies as the temple of God.
What is Masturbation?
Masturbation is the act of stimulating one’s genitals with one’s hand or an object to derive sexual pleasure. ‘One’s hand or object’ suggests a lot. It basically means personally doing things with one’s body (private parts) that lead to the arousal of sexual pleasure or fulfillment. Additionally, it is a self-help practice of deriving sexual pleasure and reaching orgasm by fondling or arousing one’s genitals (a.k.a. private parts). For women, they use their hands on their clitoris and/or breasts to intentionally achieve this. Some use sex toys on their vagina to carry out this act.
While the guys, more often than not, use pornography and sexually explicit magazines/nude pictures of ladies to peak in this immoral pleasure, all these are unnatural uses of sexual organs that irritate God. He frowns upon them and punishes victims severely. Read Rom. 1:24-28. Masturbation is a first-class vile passion. It is a shortcut to deriving sexual pleasure that has cut short many people’s glorious destinies, sanity, marital fulfillment, and life accomplishments. Warn your children against it and flee from it yourself. Interestingly, all the pleasure and fun that men and women, single and married, seek from this despicable act are all available and abound in marriage as God intended.
But the devil in his usual style to set men against their creator will always want unguided minds to explore this ungodly and destructive act of self-serving pleasure. On the other hand, I am also mindful of the fact that some married people settle for masturbation because their spouses starve them of sexual pleasures for a very long period or due to sudden impotency. This could really torturing. Yet that is not excusable before God. It is like stealing to pay your children school fees for years. Does it make your act of stealing right? Nonetheless, through proper counseling and prayers this can be overcome.
Masturbation also covers the use of sex toys and dolls by men and women to arouse erotic feelings thereby deriving sexual fulfilment from it. Now, all these are outrightly condemnable acts that many have come to embrace in every day life; yet they remain wrong and sinful in the sight of the creator. This is because they go against God’s provision as touching how our genitals are to be engaged.
The interesting thing is all what people do during masturbation like fingering, pennis rubbing, fondling of breast, clitoris stroking and the like are good and fantastic sexual activities; it is just that it is not right for the individual to administer these sexual acts on oneself. That is what is called masturbation—when you stimulate yourself sexually just so you can derive pleasure.
The book of First Corinthians, chapter seven, actually makes it clear that a man’s body belongs to his wife and the wife’s body belongs to her husband. That suggests a right to foreplay and sexual intercourse between a couple. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with those components of foreplay themselves. However, when an individual, especially an unmarried person, indulges in such acts, it goes against the natural use as God intended when He established the first marriage through Adam and Eve.
The complete text is actually Rom. 1:22-32. But I want to pick out verses 24, 26, 27 & 28.
24- “Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, TO DISHONOUR THEIR BODIES among themselves,
26- “For this reason God gave them up to VILE PASSIONS. For EVEN THEIR WOMEN EXCHANGED THE NATURAL USE for what is AGAINST NATURE.”
27- “Likewise also THE MEN, LEAVING THE NATURAL USE OF THE WOMAN, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.”
28- And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a DEBASED MIND, TO DO THOSE THINGS WHICH ARE NOT FITTING;
According to the above biblical submissions, masturbation and use of sex toys are all manifestations of VILE PASSION (morally condemnable).
SEE THIS, 20 Things Couples Do That Lead to Spousal Abuse.
With reference to V. 26–we can safely say that the use of sex toys is exchanging the natural use for what is against nature.
For example, the penis as God made it, is the natural use for a woman’s vagina and vice versa. NOT sex toys. That is why a vibrator or a dildo (fabricated penis) can never impregnate a woman, because that was never the thing God made as natural use for vagina. The idea of sex toys is as a result of reprobate/debased/immoral/ungodly thinking.
And the bible says in v. 28, they use it to do things that are not FITTING, but to them they have their own reasons to use ot even when it is not God’s way for mankind.
Looking at verse 26 & 27, you will see that homosexuality, lesbianism and use of sex toys are unnatural according to God’s creation but people now engage in all these as a way of expressing their right and freedom but out of lustful (vile) passion. However, any expression of freedom that makes a man pitch himself against God and His word still makes him live in bondage to satan.
And as the scripture also said- JUDGEMENT awaits them now and in eternity regardless of their reason for indulging in such debased acts. Rom. 1:32; Heb. 13:4.
Any mature person who desires sex and all the foreplays that go with it is advised to get married. This is the natural thing to do. But if you are afraid of the responsibilities and commitment that come with marriage, and the desire for marriage is not a welcome idea, then do this— by all means, avoid sex. God made sex and its pleasures for marriage ONLY.
If you also look at our society, you will observe other unnatural uses that mankind has naturalized. For example, the use of human blood for money rituals is real in our world today, but is that how God intends for us to get rich? Of course, not. While unbelievers may masturbate without thinking twice because they are already under Satan’s control and bondage, when believers indulge in it, they too become subjected to Satan’s bondage.
From the Foregoing masturbation is indeed a hellish (horrible) and desecrating sexual act which is controlled by sexually immoral demons. So it’s high time you stopped it as a child of God who cherishes the peace and the blessings of a loving Father.
Please be informed that there will be a follow up article on this matter of the contaminating nature of the act of masturbation. In the sequel I will talk about the destructive consequences of masturbation.
And I pray for everyone reading this who is still under the hold of the evil power of masturbation- BE FREE in Jesus name.
Thank you for reading this, hope it made some spiritual sense? Please kindly drop a comment in the column below.
©️ Seyi Igunsabi for M.A.G.I
