By Seyi Igunsabi.

 

All the time, our choices determine what we make of our lives, and the matter of marriage is no exception. That is why you must be thorough and sincere with yourself when choosing a life partner.

As a single person with a purpose and someone who desires a bright future, there are things you should never compromise when it comes to marriage matters. This is a serious point. In my few years as a pastor and a marriage counselor, I have seen and observed that ignorance and disobedience are the undoings of couples who regret their choice of a life partner. By the grace of God, I have never regretted marrying my wife in fourteen years. Why? Basically, because I married for the content of my wife and not her looks or shape, even though she has a beautiful shape.

It’s most often the case that these days Christian singles give much more priority to the physical features of prospective partners than to their character and values. Even common marital sense should inform a purpose-driven single (planning for a progressive marriage) not to have such a scale of preference. It is not expected that those who believe in divine destiny and fulfilling God’s plan for their lives and marriages would be more concerned about the container than the quality of the content of their prospects. Of course, we know that putting the container features before the content qualities is so natural for those who do not profess faith in Christ; yet there are a few of them who still prioritize values over physical features.

Please understand this: charisma without character is a disaster. Hence, there is a need to weigh your choice of partner very carefully before you say, “Yes, I do.”

What is Content in this context?

1. It refers to the spiritual and moral values your prospective partner upholds.

Now, please note that this virtue is not supposed to emerge suddenly in a prospect, as it were; just because you have started talking in a relationship way. Any single person who is serious about making a positive and valuable choice of partner should expect his or her prospect to be someone who is spiritually minded long before they ever met. Besides being a person of good spiritual and moral values.

Based on observations, some deceitful individuals (and unbelievers) suddenly begin to speak spiritually when they notice that you are a spiritually inclined person. Of course, they must behave like a monkey to catch a monkey. So be sensitive and walk in the Spirit too.

2. Content has to do with the individual’s passion and vision for living.

This is what motivates him or her to be the very best and give their best in any given endeavor or situation. For example, if your prospect (let’s say a male) would rather choose to watch a crucial football match on a Sunday afternoon than attend an important church program, he does not have the content. That’s an impartial truth.

READ ALSO, ONCE YOU MAKE YOUR CHOICE, YOUR CHOICE STARTS MAKING YOU

And if your wife-to-be rates buying a new dress for an occasion or a new Android phone higher than both of you joining hands to send money to her hungry mother or yours, who does not have a reliable means of livelihood, that is a 4-foot or 5-foot container wife who has no good content in her. Watch it!

3. Content also refers to inner beauty as against the physical attractions or features of the person.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with marrying beautiful and admirable persons; however, it should not take a higher priority over more important things in establishing a viable marriage union. Inner beauty speaks of a heart that fears and puts God first in EVERYTHING, nurturing a good conscience. This is what makes physical features enduring and truly attractive.

4. The content also speaks of having a good conscience nurtured by truth towards God, your partner, and people in general. (Acts 16:24).

It is expressed in selflessness and honest dealings with all and sundry, especially one’s partner. A good conscience can help us show empathy to a great extent in our relationship matters.

5. People of content are tolerant individuals.

A person who always finds fault will rob you of your peace and joy in marriage. Tolerant individuals don’t easily get offended and know how to relate with good understanding.

What do I refer to as container in this context?

This covers aspects such as skin color, eye color, arrangement of teeth, smoothness of legs, hips, lips, height, posture, attractive shapes, breast size, dress sense, etc. Furthermore, it extends to career and educational status, wealthy background, and achievements of the intended partners. Now, please don’t misunderstand or misquote me; all of these are undoubtedly good considerations for married life. However, they are not foundational features required to build a lasting and good marriage upon.

As a matter of fact, the majority of these ephemeral factors are actually tertiary to the demand for a blissful home and a successful conjugal union.

REASONS WHY YOU MUST PREFER THE CONTENT TO THE CONTAINER.

The conscouiness of considering content factors and giving highest priority to them helps in the following ways:

1. It helps partners develop deep and far-reaching moral and spiritual values, but container features are superficial and ephemeral.
2. Content factors supernaturally restrain you from unholy and unacceptable practices in spousal relationships, while container features can lead one to easily cast off restraint.
3. A person of Content will go through any storm with you, but containers can do the worst, such as walking out of the marriage without notice. Some may even plot the death or setback of their partner. There are true-life cases to support this, but they are not mentioned here.
4. A person of content can be easily led, inspired, and corrected by God. But it’s not so with those who have merely container characters while the content features are absent. Yet, this is very essential for nurturing an admirable marriage because marriage is God’s idea, and it will always take God to triumph in it, no matter what.
5. The durability and tranquility of any union is more realistic when both partners are people of content rather than mere containers (physically driven individuals). Marriage is an honorable thing that can only be established on good moral and spiritual values above anything else.

Therefore, we need to learn how to put first things first in marital matters so that the lines of marriage may fall to us in pleasant places.

©️ Seyi Igunsabi

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