How to win in marriage - Marriage as God Intended

How to win in marriage

Winning in marriage is not hereditary, magical, or mystical. It is not in the curriculum of any institution of higher learning worldwide, except for those who deliberately run marriage counselling institutions. Also, note that winning in marriage is not a function of age, level of income, degree of expertise, position, or societal status; rather, it is about having the right mindset and understanding of how this highly sensitive and demanding union works.

I am very excited to share my thoughts with you all on this very important subject—winning in marriage. The reason is that, firstly, it’s my reality and current ongoing marital experience. When it comes to relationship issues like this, you cannot give what you don’t have. By God’s grace, I have been winning in marriage for the last 19 years, yet my marriage is still not a perfect one. Secondly, God has set me apart by His grace, like many other relationship coaches all over the globe, to deal with the marital plague called ‘Ignorance,’ which is the root of over 90% of dysfunctional marriages and families.I am very excited to share my thoughts with you all on this very important subject—winning in marriage. The reason is that, firstly, it’s my reality and current marital experience. When it comes to relationship issues like this, you can not give what you don’t have.

By God’s grace, I have been winning in marriage for the last 19 years; however, my marriage is still not a perfect one. Secondly, God has set me apart by His grace, like many other relationship coaches all over the globe, to address the marital plague called ‘Ignorance,’ which is the root of over 90% of dysfunctional marriages and families.

Perhaps nothing accounts for the majority of marital failures, broken homes, and hurting relationships among believers and the world at large like false beliefs and assumptions about marital relationships. The truth is that winning in marriage is not child’s play, but it is not as difficult as many people, especially those who have it rough in marriage, paint it. In fact, some people who are victims of bad marriages or wrong marital choices even try to paint a picture of an impossible situation when talking about thriving in marriage. This is unacceptably incorrect.

In life, winning is everyone’s dream and desire. Do you know that no one wants to lose anything? Even those who commit atrocities wish to succeed at them. One area of life that I believe all purpose-driven individuals would like to win is marriage. The truth is, we all have a very high propensity to win in marriage despite our backgrounds, natures, upbringings, and attitudinal differences. Marriage is a product of divinity that was never designed to fail. Anyone who desires marriage or is already married must be intentional and determined to win in marriage because marital success is inherently part of marriage as established by God. A winning mindset is crucial to making the most of any marital relationship, as the effects of marriage are more all-encompassing than any other aspect of life.

Please note the following before I share the keys to winning in marriage:

1. Winning in marriage is first a choice more than anything else.

2. Winning in marriage requires a lot of intentionality and proactivity. That is why, more often than not, good marriages are created, not stumbled into.

3. Winning in marriage is not hereditary, magical, or mystical, as I mentioned earlier. It is not a mystery, nor is it a top secret kept somewhere in the second heaven that no man can access.

Now, let’s get down to the brass tacks: THE KEYS TO WINNING IN MARRIAGE.

These teachings are practical, true, and workable. They work for singles in relationships and those who are already married. They will work for both new and experienced couples.

KEY NO 1: ENSURE IMPECCABLE AND ABSOLUTE TRUST BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR PARTNER

From my experience and studies, I can tell you categorically that trust is a fundamental key to winning and thriving in marriage. Trust is the greatest virtue in marriage; it makes all other virtues meaningful. Whether you are single or married, please never allow trust to be broken in your marriage or relationship. I have discovered that trust is the first principle of marital success and bliss that the scriptures dramatize for us, not love. Genesis 2:25 states, ‘And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.’

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The first thing Adam and Eve realised before they started living together was their nakedness (openness). You can love people—that is, you don’t hate or have plans to hurt them—yet not trust them. However, everyone you trust, you naturally love. True or false? Promote trust and openness in your marriage with all that is in you; it will improve your marital experience, fostering its success. Remember, it is better to keep trust in your marriage at all costs than to lose it for any reason at all.

If you are unmarried and you are seeing this post, I plead with you not to marry anyone you don’t trust one hundred percent. For married people, avoid making anyone your closest friend other than your spouse. The principle of trust forbids it.

©️ Seyi Igunsabi for M.A.G.I

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