How To Have Peace in Marriage - Marriage as God Intended

Peace indeed is the greatest asset in marriage as God intended; don’t let the devil and people with vulnerable marriages deceive you to think otherwise.

If there is one thing I am sure of that is drying up homes, drying up husbands and wives, besides sucking their beings in marriage, it is the absence of peace. And of course, this is very true. Singles, once you have a reason(s) to always suspect or doubt your prospect, your peace is not guaranteed in that relationship even in the least form. You don’t need to pray about it, just take a walk away.

Proverbs 17:1

“Better is a dry morsel with quietness, Than a house full of feasting with strife.”

“A meal of bread and water (without beans, egg or tea) in contented peace is better than a banquet spiced with quarrels.” Proverbs 17:1 | MSG

If you ask women whose husbands are not very rich and influential but give them peace and rest, they will tell you without winking eyes that- the Bible is very correct on this. An old family friend in Abuja called me after several years of no contact. She told me of how things have become tough for them recently and how they are trusting God for a quick financial turnaround. Then she said something that touched me, she said: “But in all of this I thank God for the man He gave me, I have rest in my marriage.”

Everyone would naturally prefer a haven of peace than a house on fire when it comes to relationships and marriage; both believers and unbelievers alike.

2 Thessalonians 3:16

“Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace always in every way. The Lord be with you all.” (NKJV)

“Now the Lord of peace Himself give you peace always by ALL means. The Lord be with you all.” (KJV)

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Apostle Paul understood the value of peace in human life and relationships, that was why He prayed this passionate benediction prayer for Thessalonians.

It is a pearl of great marital wisdom for any couple to pursue peace in their marriage by all reasonable and good means. I said ‘by all reasonable and good means’, because I have seen couples who pursue ‘peace’ in their marriage in cruel and unreasonable ways.

For example, a wife tells her husband that the only way there can be peace in this house is to tell his relations not to visit their home for as long she wants and if at all they would, it must be on appointment- approved and rubber-stamped by her. But on the contrary, her people can stroll in anytime, anyway. That is simply absurd! Even peace will not have peace in such a home.

What about couples who see putting a ban or passcodes on accessing each other’s phones or devices as a means of maintaining peace between them? This too is unreasonable and inhibiting to real peace in such a marriage because it shows they have trust issues. Peace can not reign where trust is lacking.

In a film I once watched, an actress said something like: the more you try to flick through your spouse’s phone the more trouble you get yourself into. That is a bad talk as far as Christian and blissful marriage is concerned.

This kind of mindset can never breed peace in any marriage on earth. But that is what some couples believe will bring peace, when they set unwarranted boundaries for each other and hide themselves from themselves.

The greatest favour you can do yourself as a married person is not building an expensive mansion for your family, it is not buying a 2022 Range Rover Sports car for yourself (or your spouse) or flying a private jet all around; neither is it even taking your family to Dubai or Hawaii on vacation every year. All these are good and should be desired, but mind you, the greatest FAVOUR you owe yourself as a married person and your partner is to ensure much peace, overflowing peace saturates your home and marriage more than anything else.

When there is peace in your home and marriage, what is not enough now will soon become more than enough; it is a matter of time.

THINGS TO NOTE ABOUT PEACE BEING THE GREATEST ASSET IN MARRIAGE?

1. Wherever there is peace, you will find progress, prosperity, GOOD success, joy and good accomplishments.

They may not come immediately, but they will certainly come.

In marriage, peace and progress are the best twins. That is why any home or marital union where there is no peace, practically nothing else moves forward. Interestingly, peace does not attach itself to anything, rather every other thing seeks its presence/companion as though their continued existence depends on it. And they actually do. For instance, where there is no peace, money will fail. That is why we still see very rich people divorce themselves. Titles and positions without peace is perhaps a sign of a weak and failed leadership (individuals).

A mansion without peace is like a house on fire. Who stays there? Who can blossom under such a roof?

Proverbs 21:19

“Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman.”

You see why some men stay late at work and hang out with friends till 10-11pm? There is no peace at home. They have a ‘terrorist’ wife back at home. And for same reason some go into extramarital affairs. Some men and women are IDPs (internally displaced persons) in their homes due to incessant conflicts. They are in the home but away from home in the home.

Another thing to note about marital bliss is that- peace never walks alone, just like a President or a very top national official never walks alone. Peace has a centripetal force. So it naturally and supernaturally draws every good thing to itself over time. Hence, whatever price you pay for peace in your marriage will certainly bring far greater returns. But when peace is out of its place- success, progress and good achievements become a nightmare.

What it’ll cost you to maintain peace in your marriage and home can not be compared with what you stand to lose if peace is found wanting. Nobody and nothing are too big to give up for the peace of your family. For example, resigning from a lucrative job to keep your family peace and joy is more than worth it. The preservation of one’s family at the expense of one’s job may not be a big deal after all if one can secure a more family-friendly job soon after. But if the downfall of the family is due to one’s career or business demands; then wisdom is seriously in shortage in this regard. And the aftermath may be devastating.

2) Peace in marriage has a greater tendency to stray than to stay, that is why God’s word says: Pursue peace… Heb. 12:14.

Our greatest strength as a couple in the past sixteen years of marriage and twenty years of intimate relationship is rooted in our peace of mind and the Spirit. I do tell my audience, by the grace of God, the peace that exists between my wife and I can can be practically held with the hand. This has been the greatest asset and leverage in our marriage.

Please go to the blog to read the concluding part of this blissful write up.

©️ M.A.G.I

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