By Seyi Igunsabi

It is possible for one to have invested so much in a relationship that ought to culminate in a desired marriage, only to discover after a while that there are certain happenings that are valid enough to give it away as a red relationship. In this case, it is expected that whoever is concerned would be true to themselves and to their future by taking a right step in the right direction.

More often than not, these dangerous indicators disclose to a partner or both partners in a supposed serious affair that it’s not worth continuing. However, some may still choose to continue for one or two selfish reasons, probably out of fear of what family members and friends would say, when they should have quit. But at the end of the day, after marrying a person their heart did not choose, they waste years and resources in the marriage and still quit anyway.

But there are a few others who seem to be reserved about the option of quitting, probably owing to their faith. These individuals remain in the marriage, frustrated and distressed for a long time, and at times throughout the lifespan of the regrettable union. Hence, the better thing to do when a relationship starts showing red flags is to quit and have enough peace to engage in a more purposeful one.

HOW DO I KNOW A RED RELATIONSHIP?

1. IF IT’S NOT GOD, IT’S NOT GOOD TO GO.

This means that a relationship expected to end in marriage, when God is not the initiator or direct ‘prompter’, could be risky in the end. If two people are coming together to get married without clear divine conviction from both sides, it will most likely lead to regret, either in the short run or in the long run.

Psalm 127:1 says, “Except the Lord build a house, they labor in vain that build it.” Of course, this point applies primarily to Christian marriages and those who want to have marriage as God intended. So the point is that any relationship not given prime priority to God’s direction is unlikely to survive what lies ahead.

2. IF YOUR PROSPECT DOES NOT FEAR GOD OUTRIGHT, NEITHER DOES HE OR SHE HAVE A HIGH ESTEEM FOR THE WORD OF GOD.

That is a red flag. Stop using your brain to excuse him or her from the standard. The best and surest guide for a successful and bankable marriage is God, the Maker of it. The most distinctive manual for marriage as an institution is the Word of God (the Bible). Therefore, it is expected that a marital union that is safe must be within the confines of the Word of God as it relates to marital relationships and reverence for God.

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Another way to put this is: never establish a relationship with an unbeliever—someone who does not share the same core beliefs of Christianity with you, their status notwithstanding. Wealth, fame, position, or personality cannot guarantee a blissful home like reverence for God.

3. If YOUR PROSPECT IS SOMEONE THAT WILL OFTEN ENSURE THINGS ARE DONE IN HIS OR HER OWN WAYS- A RED FLAG IS UP, BE WISE.

The scriptures made it unequivocally clear in 1 Corinthians 13:5 that ‘love does not seek its own.’ Marrying a partner with this kind of nature is as good as marrying a manipulator. Whenever people like this are in a relationship, strife and heavy disagreements characterize the relationship or marriage. I once officiated a wedding where the bride had this nature, and she decided to exhibit it on the wedding day after the church ceremony. Her husband got really angry and was going to retaliate at that moment but for my intervention. It can be so frustrating to be in this kind of marriage.

Mutual benefit is usually alien and secondary to a person with this character trait and that is a red for a conjugal union.

4. IF YOUR PARTNER TO BE, ESPECIALLY A MALE IS A CONSTANT DEPENDENT, IT’S A RED.

Marriage is not for babies, nor is it for boys and girls. Babies can hardly do things on their own; they are very dependent. Avoid ‘mummy’s boy’ or ‘daddy’s girl’ when in a marital relationship. I mean someone who depends too much on others (especially relatives and friends) before he or she can take a stand on matters. Such a personality trait will often affect your marital well-being in the short or long run. My dear singles, anyone you plan to marry who has not learned how to accept responsibility for his life and actions is indeed immature for the institution called marriage. Only those who have a sense of responsibility should enter into marital relationships.

5. IF YOUR PARTNER IS INCORRIGIBLE, YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENDANGER YOURSELF.

An incorrigible partner will stagnate you because he or she will hardly open up to new ideas and knowledge that could improve things and situations around him or her, even those that pertain to marital issues. This attitude also makes them arrogant and biased in their judgments. An incorrigible person may end up being a dictator in the home over time; thus, settling with them can bring their partner under perpetual oppression and deprivation. So don’t get stuck in a toxic relationship like this, which is fueled by this bigoted attitude. Learn to excuse yourself while you have the opportunity (that is, before marriage).

In my sequel write up to this, I will highlight a few more points that could help anyone who cares to identify red relationships. Thank you for reading.

©️MAGI

READ ALSO, One Major Reason Why God Will Not Tell You Whom To Marry

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