Compatibility and marriage as God intended is a very slippery and sensitive marriage matter that should not be shoved aside on the journey to marriage.

What is Compatibility?

The marriage manual, in the third chapter of the book of Amos and the third verse, gave the most timeless and succinct definition of compatibility in terms of relationships even those that lead to marriage.

It says: ” Can two WALK together except they are AGREED? Amos 3:3 (NKJV).

“Do two people walk hand in hand if they aren’t going to the same place?” Amos 3:3 (The Message Bible).

Considering the scripture above, you will agree with me that: “Marrying a person who agrees with your future and divine destiny is far more important than just marrying someone whom you admire in terms of personality, position, family background, body shape, dress style, career attraction, educational status, material possessions or nationality.”

Statistics and true-life stories of many failed marriages and broken homes show that more than half of such ill-conceived unions fail due to all or most of those aforementioned parameters people employ in the guise of compatibility.

If the dictionary definitions are anything to go by – To be compatible means to exist and perform in harmonious or agreeable combination. It further States ‘Compatibility’ means that you get along with somebody very well,” or “a state in which two things can exist or occur together without problems or conflict.”

Vikki Ziegler, a relationship expert and author of The Pre-Marital Planner, said … “Basically, being in a compatible relationship means that you work well together, enjoy each other’s company and have a good time.”
Of course, this confirms the same timeless definition from the Word of God on the same subject of discussion as written in Amos 3:3.

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Furthermore, I thought about a message that Microsoft office usually show to me when I copy a document from a higher version and I try to open it with a lower version, it tells me these versions are not COMPATIBLE, so it can not be viewed.  Then it goes further to warn me that I may lose some part of the data or existing format if I insist on my action. I am sure some of you know what I am talking about. That is what is referred to as software compatibility.

So compatibility even in this sense means- there is no total or mutual agreement between these versions of MS document due to upgrade or variation of versions.
Candidly, this is the true practical meaning of compatibility, yet I hear singles in relationships refer to compatibility as if it’s all about personality and temperaments.
And many have gotten married with this notion only to discover that they misinterpreted the issue of compatibility to their hurt and disappointment.

Essentially, because compatibility focuses on destiny and purpose alignment of an intending couple than other ephemeral things, divine direction still plays a major role in the whole process.

God remains the Destiny Maker and our greatest Destiny Helper, so to make the right choice of a destiny partner you are still required to follow His instructions more than your emotions and calculations.

This is what true compatibility is all about. It is getting married according to God’s will while aligning with one who will help you maximize your destiny despite their seemingly present physical constraints.

From the above definitions and succinct expressions on the subject of compatibility and marital relationships, I have deduced the following:

1. The issue of compatibility can affect your performance in life.

It can also affect your career goal, marriage, ministry, purpose and everything ‘affectable’, hence the need to understand the basics.
In other words, if you don’t marry a person you can dwell with in mutual understanding all your marital life- your productivity and performance may be jeopardised in whatever area.

2. When you marry a person you’re not compatible with there is bound to be some forms of losses.

Do you remember the Microsoft program compatibility I spoke about earlier? This is exactly the case.
It could be loss of personal inner peace, absence of a good understanding of one’s partner, loss of resources; forfeiture of ministry, career dream, a blissful home, precious relationship with others and so on- just because of the person one married is always in conflict with one’s life goal and purpose.

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This has been the story of losses many couples had had to tell because they are incompatible with their life partner despite the availability of certain material or physical benefits.

3. Marrying a person you’re not compatible with, will not make things work out for you as God intended; because you have stepped out the real deal.

The use of wrong parameters to choose a lifelong mate has been the undoing of too many couples today. So their progress is forestalled by the fact that they are married to a person they find very difficult to understand or relate with. And for the majority, this goes on for decades in the marriage and at times it lasts throughout the lifespan of their spousal term.

I have met couples who have been married for more than ten years, yet they do not understand each other at all and it’s costing them both corporate family progress and personal effectiveness. It’s a pity. This is a compatibility issue harming this group of couples.

4. Compatibility between the couple must not only be a mixable combination but an agreeable combination.

For instance, you can mix detergent with palm wine but you and I know it will not make a harmonious (agreeable) combination. They are not friendly at all.
That’s why some couples find it very difficult to be friends ( there are no compatible grounds in the affair).
The interesting thing is some husbands and wives are like detergent and palm wine. It’s not only a disagreeable combination but a bad mix.

But detergent with water, oh, it’s time for action – it’s time to deal with dirt.
Right compatibility energises any couple to get things done together, confront situations with a conquering spirit and live at their best.
So don’t wink at the issue of compatibility.

©️ MAGI

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