By Seyi Igunsabi.

“Once you make your choice, your choice starts making you.” – Pastor Bimbo Odukoya.

So singles, watch it!

I learned this from Pastor Bimbo Odukoya’s blessed memory. She happened to be my first relationship coach in the 90s. I first stumbled on this statement in her book, ‘How to Choose a Life Partner’. And it made a lot of sense to me back then. Perhaps that is why I have not forgotten it since, about 23 years ago, I read the book. I believe this profound and instructive statement gave me the much-needed impetus to get it right in my marriage. 
And to God be the glory, I got it right.

Although the road to it was rough and tough. It cost me nine years before I eventually settled with my present and destiny changing wife.

Please understand that in most cases, whatever experience you get out of your marriage, it’s usually based on your choice. You don’t try to blame anybody for it. So, look good if you want to go well and end well on that marital journey.

The truth is, each person who wishes to get married someday and those of us who are already in a marriage must be prepared to accept responsibility for the choice of life partner we make. This will likely help all of us to make a choice we will not regret later, by God’s grace.

“So, look well if you want to go well and end well in that marital journey.”

According to Dr. Olukoya, what you become in the future is dependent on your choice of partner. This is visibly true. That is why I do say that choice of partner equals choice of destiny. In fact, the choice of a partner also equals the choice of life. I told some youths in a seminar: “Your life does not depend on your relationship; it is your relationship that depends on your life. But when you marry, the reverse is the case.” The wisdom is this: don’t try to be in a relationship by all means as if your life depends on it. Be careful, child of God.

Note, as a single your life does not really become more beautiful because you are in a relationship.

As a matter of fact, your life must first be beautiful in itself before you can have a relationship that is beautiful. Wise singles are first purpose driven and not relationship driven.

Don’t let anyone deceive you. You don’t have to marry just anybody who is available, thinking that another person may not come your way or that you will experience a delay in getting married. Lie! Take your time so that you won’t waste it on a fruitless and frustrating marriage. Whoever you marry can make or mar your destiny; let go and let God.

Remember Ananias and Sapphira? She married a liar, or rather, he married a liar, and that cost both of them their destinies. Acts 5:1–2. If she, for instance, were someone who always speaks the truth, she would have advised her husband against that unhealthy move. And if the husband had insisted, she would have saved herself.

Naomi suffered a great and irrecoverable loss in life, among others, because she married a man who does not understand divine purpose and who does not walk in the Spirit (Ruth 1:1–8). Unlike Isaac, who blossomed with his wife and stayed in Gerar because he knew how to hear God and had a wife who encouraged him to obey divine instructions.

Ah! I have counseled people who have been traumatized in life just because of the person they married. Save your head by trusting God to help you make the right choice.

Daddy G.O (Pastor E.A. Adeboye) made a reference to what the founder of RCCG used to say about choosing a wife in one of his marriage books. He said Papa would usually say, “Don’t make a mistake in your marriage. If you carry a wrong lady, you will carry her for life.”

Talk of Jezebel and how she made her husband to govern God’s people in a reckless way. And they both ended their lives shamefully. 2 kings 21:25 & 26.

But for my wife who has stirred me up in many good ways I would not have been as progressive as I am today. Thank God I made a choice that is now making my life worth living.

If your sincere and innermost desire is to make a right choice of a life partner, I join my faith with yours to say- the Lord will do it for as he did it for me eighteen years ago.

Thank you.

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