By Seyi Igunsabi.

It’s indeed a delight for me to pen down these thoughts and make them a message to my fellow males at this time. Of course, the reason is not far-fetched, as you will see in this write-up, which is an account of my own reality over fifteen years of marital experience and about twenty years of a relationship with the wife of my youth.

But before I highlight the points on how to bring out the best in your wife, I must remind all men reading this, particularly, that your wife cannot be at her best, and it will not improve your results. Now, this is an incontestable fact. This is one key point about prospering as a married man that many men have trivialized to their own detriment. Yes, I admit that it’s not child’s play for a man to do things that will inspire his wife to give her maximum output; but the good thing is that it’s profoundly gainful.

Also, I know from my encounters that the more you practice them, the easier they tend to become for you to do as the years go by in your marital union.

The Highlights:

1. Consciously study your wife as a person, her strengths, natural abilities, and her life/work interests.

Learn to celebrate her for all of these and continually encourage her to be her very best in this regard. Also, try to understand her weaknesses and what turns her off. Try to make up for her weaknesses and avoid those turn-off points. The best time to start this marital improvement discovery about your wife is during courtship and within the first few years of your marriage.

2. Intentionally accord her the highest honor and respect in your life, above all others, including friends, relatives, and colleagues.

Sometimes you will also have to put her before your work, business, or ministry (if you are a Minister of the Gospel).

 “Your wife cannot be at her best, and it will not improve your results. Now, this is an incontestable fact.”

The joke is that occasionally you may even have to put her before yourself. Any woman who observes this in her husband will always go the extra mile to make her husband happy and fulfilled. This transpires naturally between my wife and me. Why? We understand these things and their immense benefits. Never give anyone, especially your siblings and parents, an ounce of opportunity to talk down to your wife.

3. Be open with her on all fronts.

I have said it again and again: “Openness is the best policy in marriage.” That is, live and do things in such a way that shows one hundred percent transparency and honesty from you to her. This trust must be unconditional. Try as much as possible not to hide anything from her. For example, I share with my wife when I begin to drop my guard with respect to the opposite sex – be it the workplace, business relationships, the neighborhood, or even in the church.

4. Seek her opinion on virtually all matters that pertain to the family, your economic pursuits, and even your personal life.

Everyone likes recognition, even God, our Maker. It does not matter if she occasionally suggests some weird or unworkable things to you; still, give her the place of an integral contributor or counselor in all your plans and decisions. This is very vital to your success as a married man and in all your worthwhile endeavors. Even when your wife appears to be a novice in some things, seeking her opinion in decision-making times will still count for you very well as a man. That is marriage as God intended.

5. Ensure that both of you have a common understanding of each other’s financial records, balances, and income at any given time.

This may sound like a tall order for many men of this generation, but it’s expedient. I am aware it’s not an easy task, but it is very possible and helpful. Once you are able to establish openness and oneness in your family and personal finances, transparency in almost any other area will be a walkover. The ripple effect of financial openness on other areas of a marital relationship is far-reaching.

6. Consciously use your actions and words to assure her that you’re her unrepentant protector and defender, especially before her in-laws.

Never take it lightly with anyone who attempts to hurt or take your wife for granted, even if they are close friends, relatives, or colleagues. This is naturally part of me, and I know my wife feels good and secure because of it. You are in the best position to shield your wife against any verbal or attitudinal abuse from relatives and friends.

©️ MAGI.

READ MORE, Men Only: The Secrets of Bringing Out the Best in Your Wife. (2)

READ ALSO, Dealing With Delayed Marriage.

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